Plus Nine Hours

"Tramp" takes fashion world by storm in China

2010-03-04T04:49:00.001-08:00

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/handsome-chinese-vagrant-draws-fans-of-homeless-chic-1915812.html

I don't know whether I like this article or not. I smiled to myself at first, as it is a pretty unique story, but should we really turn every aspect of life into a kind of freak reality TV situation? Is it OK to grab a homeless man off the streets and declare him to be a fashion icon, convincing ourselves that we are not laughing at his misfortune, when really, we are?

After all, would he have hit the headlines had he been an average Joe prancing around a shopping mall?

On the other hand, this may serve to show that homeless people are not a completely alien breed of creatures, that they are like everyone else - talented, opinionated and creative and that all of these qualities are being supressed by their situation.

A lack of money, an address and the stigmatism that homelesness brings threatens the future and talents of people in thise situation and maybe this guy is, inadvertently it seems, pointing this out.

Maybe!

Forgotten scribbles

2009-08-29T04:50:00.000-07:00

During my travels, I did a bit of drawing. Teaching was time-consuming and my ticket into Japan, but I still found time to do some wandering around on weekends. Now I'm home, I haven't been drawing much either, but it's something I think I'll have to get back into. Here are a few (not very good) scribbles from my wanderings....

This was my haven - Tully's cafe, beside the Muraskaki River in Kokura. I came here every weekend to write letters, draw and spy on people. I decided not to get caught up on colour and just concentrated on linear movement. Plus, I didn't get round to buying decent quality coloured pencils.

Despite hearing a lot about it, I didn't visit Simonoseki until three weeks before I left Japan. An old port town, Shimooseki is defned by the sea and the goodies its locals pull from it.

These include fugu - the toxic puffer fish that is famous for polishing off many a diner. Chefs have to train for three years to dissect these things and be qualified to confidently serve them up, minus any traces of their highly poisonous livers. Some may remember fugu from an episode of the Simpsons which sees Homer cheat death ater eating one, due to his steely stomach.

I never tried fugu (I'm leaving some things for an excuse for more visits to Japan), but I took this questionable sketch from the top of an impressive glass tower that stands above the coastline, looking over the bridge that divides Honshu and Kyushu.

Below are two more drawings from a few weeks after Shimonoseki when I found myself amazed at the textures, patterns, carvings and peeling paint of Beijing's Forbidden City. It's an artist's/photgraphers/film-maker's paradise and I found it hard to drag myself away.

It's worth mentioning that a huge argument erupted over the decision to allow Starbucks to house a branch in the grounds of the Forbidden City not so long ago.

Critcs argued, as well as the fact that China is supposed to be a communist nation, that the former sprawling palace complex, home to emperors for hundreds of years and entered only by commoners upon the pain of death (hence the name), was far too sacrosanct and powerful a symbol of the country's history to play host to an American coffee chain.

However, as valid as I believe this is, I would like to point out that while I was standing in between rows and rows of carefully carved posts leading down to a very impressive piece of carved stone, supposedly the largest in the world or something similar, I saw a grandma hold her little grandson mid-air and assist him in his quest to have a mammothly large pee all over the ancient monument, which ran like a very noticable yellow river down the old stone steps.

Not one of the stern-faced guards who seemed to spend a fair bit of time staring at me menacingly batted an eyelid at this. I don't know where that stands in relation to the 'sacred and historical' arguement, but it was yet another thing about China that puzzled me. I'd like to go back and try to begin to understand that country.

Beijing Blur - James West

2009-06-11T05:25:00.000-07:00

I have just finished reading 'Beijing Blur' by James West, a young Australian writer who lived in China for a year as part of a placement agreement between ABC and CCTV International.

This book is excellent and I think will touch a nerve with travellers, general readers, young and old people, those who work in the media and especially anyone who has lived in a different country and has had to adjust to a different culture. Furthermore, he is gay, which means there is added depth to his whole experience as it gives an insight into the lives and issues facing Beijing's bisexual/gay youths. It is also an interesting read for anthropoligists or politically-minded people who are interested in censorship, media and the Chinese state.

He recommends some things to take a look at in the back of his book, which I will post here and hopefully get round to having a glance at soon.

Blogs

www.danwei.org
www.zonaeuropa.com
www.beijingorbust.blogspot.com

Books

Tongzhi: Politics of Same-Sex Eroticism in Chinese Societies - Chou Wah-Shan
Remaking Beijing: Tianemen Square and the Creation of a Political Space - Wu Hung
The Insider's Guide to Beijing - Adam Pillsbury

Music (Mr West does a lot of hanging out with promising Chinese musicians)

Cut Off! - Rebuilding the Rights of Statues
Secret Mission - Wednesday's Trip
Mental Imagery - Dead J Ambient
Beijing Dream - Thin Man

Film

Dong Gong Xi Gong - Yuan Zhang (1996)
2046 - Wong Kar Wai (2004)

Martin Amis - Money

2009-06-11T05:09:00.000-07:00

I have just finished reading 'Money' by Martin Amis, something which took me a while to finally borrow from the library - but I'm glad I did. Like other novels of his I have read, I don't think it's ending is particularly striking, but I guess that leaves you to think about what he's trying to tell you.

This is a great novel about capitalism and the concsumer lifestyle, finding money, losing it being subject to it completely. His protagonist John self jets from New York to London eating, smoking, drinking, taking pills and women whenenver he feels like it.

It's pretty good for laughs as well, some of the funnier stuff I will leave out for the sake of holding back obscenities, but it has its fair share of thought provokers.

Nice one, Mr Amis, I can see why this one cemented your career - must have taken a lot of blood, sweat, tears - and cash - to do so.

Some extracts that made me laugh in public/think for a bit....

"Yeah," I said and started smoking another cigarette. Unless I inform you otherwise, I'm always smoking another cigarette.

When you go to work everyday, you aren't really living. In some ways it must be a great relief. Really living - now that's hard graft, that's nine-to-five stuff (it's like going to work everyday).

We are stomped and roughed up and peed on and slammed against the wall by money.

If we all downed tools and joined hands for ten minutes and stopped believing in money, then money would no longer exist. We never will, of course. Maybe money is the great conspiracy, the great fiction. The great addiction too: we're all addicted to it and we can't break the habit now. There's not even anything very twentieth century about it, excpet the disposition. You just can't kick it, that junk, even if you want to. You can't get the money monkey off your back.

Things I forgot about Japan/Things that have changed about Japan

2009-05-02T17:21:00.000-07:00

I recently went back to Japan/Kokura a year after I left. I lived there for 13 months in all, from March 2007 to April 2008.

My trip was only three weeks long, but here are some of the things I had forgotten about after being back in the UK for 12 months....

- Toilet Slippers - You have to wear open-toed, cheap plastic flip-flop-type shoes ('slippers') in the toilet if you go into an old restaurant/school/traditional place. You get used to it day-to-day but for a visitor it can be a bit annoying.
- Colour mismatching (Japanes girls have noooooooo sense of colour coordination, which can be a great thing, don't get me wrong.)
- High necks, tiny pants - It's OK to wear tiny tiny shorts, but wearing a low-cut top is baaaad news and very much frowned-upon. However, if you are Western, neither option is good. It seems that in the minds of Japanese folks, the legs of a Japanese girl are not as offensive-looking as the legs of a chubbier Western girl. If in doubt adn you want to make a good impression as an 'outsider', stay wrapped up.
- Buy a kitten on the streets - to be fair, there is only one street corner I have ever seen where this happens and it is an hour from where I lived. Also, I think maybe they were petting, not buying, kittens.
- How clean things are - you wont know 'til you go! The litter is non-existent, without exaggeration. I once went for a walk outside my local shopping complex at midnight and saw a team of uniformed people furiously scraping up chewing gum. Could have been community service, but they were putting a lot of effort in. Maybe it's just pride in your surroundings, something people in the UK lack, rampant litter-throwing idiots as (some) of us are.
- People fall asleep EVERYWHERE! Yep. I don't blame em, they work hard.
- Stinging soap. I don't know why, I really don't, but the soap STINGS my skin. It hurts a lot, even though you buy the same brands as back home (Yes, LUX, I mean you!)
- Deep, short baths, but large sinks! Ha. Lovely for short people, like me!
- How great street food is - Why dont we have more street food in the UK? Or even quick stand-up kitchens where you can gulp a bowl of something and move on fast.

A Rant About the Word 'Awesome'

2009-04-25T05:03:00.000-07:00

I am going to expain why I do not only dislike the word 'awesome' but also find it highly irritating.

I'm writing this largely pointless passage because I spend around nine to ten hours a day with someone who uses this word, without exaggeration, several times an hour.

As the person in question is quite a jolly and harmless and likeable chap, but because this word so often violates my earholes, I have some degree of pent-up annoyance which has to come out somewhere (thank you blog, even if you are largely pointless to all but me).

AWE - (my definition) Astounding, amazing, state of being absolutely dumbstruck by something almost inconcievably brilliant.

I always imagine someone being in a state of 'awe' as sitting/standing somewhere having been made gobsmacked and speechless by an inspiring occurence, such as an amazing opera, an impressive stunt, a million-dollar performance, a piece of stunning arcitecture, someone base jumping from a high cliff, discovering a new species of plant, etc...

SOME - In this case, a suffix used to convey the nature of the former word, e.g: troublesome, etc..

I think the word awe-inspiring is the nearest definition to awesome you can get.

SO, my work colleague, I would like to say this (not to your face, of course). It is NOT, I repeat, NOT awesome when - someone makes the tea, the boss suggests we buy a plant, client support solves a problem, the mail man comes, your coffee is the perfect shade of brown (true - he actually said this!), Jade Goody the Opera is announced, someone calls and it's for you, the internet connection is fast, it stops raining outside.

PS) While we're in this particular territory, could a certain someone who sits next to me every day please stop scraping their metal spoon against the side of their ceramic mug while eating their daily cup-a-soup?!?!?!?!? Thanks.

Disclaimer - Though 'awesome' is indeed an annoying, Americanised and over-used term on my desk at work, I would acually be gutted if said person ever read this and was upset by my meanness. Afterall, he's just trying to get through life cheerfully! Therefore, I would actually like to point out that this blog post does, in fact, not exist at all.

Annoying Things in Life

2009-04-25T04:12:00.000-07:00

- When one headphone stops working
- Drivers who don't indicate until the last second or not at all
- Getting in the shower to find the soap is in the cabinet
- Rental DVDs being scratched halfway through the film
- People who stop moving when they get to the top of an escalator
- The word AWESOME
- Spitters and litter throwers (AAaAAAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaAAAGHGHGHGHHHHHhhh! I'm gonna come to your house, spit on your carpet and stuff an empty happy meal carton into your mother's mouth!!!)

More to come, I'm sure.

- People who somehow think that revving their engines makes road-crossers move more quickly, though, for a brief moment, they have indisputable right of way. (Thanks Lorraine!)

Films You Can Only Watch Once/Films You Can Watch Again and Again Without Getting Bored

2009-04-25T03:40:00.000-07:00

For reasons relating to comfort, relevance and the need not to see some things twice, here are some Films You Can Watch Only Once:

- This is England (I watched this just before getting on a train into Russia alone where I had never, ever been before. It did not lift my spirits or make me any less nervous, as anyone who has seen it will know).
- Passion of the Christ (We all know how this story ends)
- The Last King of Scotland (OW, OW, OW!! to the meat hook scene. Diiisgusting stuff.)
- Kes - (Too sad, too sad. That poor kestrel and his little Northern pal)
- Bad Taste (I didn't think I would ever see a film where someone drinks a bowl of vomit to fit in.)
- Battleship Potemkin (Russian propaganda in its finest form, but best for academic purposes. Hard work!)
- The Constant Gardener (Great film, needs only one viewing.)
- Don't Look Now (Actually, this is uncertain, because again, very arty and academic, but the ridiculous murderous dwarf is pretty watchable.)
- 3:10 To Yuma (Ungrateful little bugger, that kid is!)
- Return to Paradise (1998 version - This film enraged and engaged me for many many reasons, but the stooooopid love story ruins it's serious points)
- La Dolce Vita (Pretentious, intentionally, a bit too long also. But, I do realate a lot to Marcelo, even though he is a media-type ballbag.)

Films You Can Watch Again and Again:

- Wayne's World - (Both, either, all!!!)
- Sexy Beast - (Walkin' on the beaches, lookin' at the peaches.)
- Arthur - (I didn't know Dudley Moore could be so funny)
- Casablanca - (Oh, Rick, why did you do it?!?!?)
- Cabaret - (Every fashionista across the world owes something to Christopher Isherwood and Liza Minelli)
- Sin City (Assassins don't get boring!)
- The Jerk (HAHAHHAHAAAAAaaaa!!)
- The Darjeeling Limited (Beautifully shot, great soundtrack, amazing acting, relatable, gotta go back for more to think about things you didn't notice the first time around)
- Little Shop of Horrors (Feeeed me Seymaaw...)
- Gladiator (Ohhh, Joaquin Phoenix, you right bastard!)
- Bridget Jones' Diary (Sorry, but I am a girl afterall)
- Pretty Woman (See above)
- Casino (I hate Sharon Stone because she's such an embarassing idiot, but that room full of jewellery is amazing!)

Tokyo Rush Hour

2009-04-25T02:17:00.000-07:00

We set off from Minnowa one morning, in the North-East of Tokyo, where our hostel was. For once, we had a very valid mission in mind; I was carrying the coat of an Irish boy we had met on the airplane and been out all night with two days before.

The three of us arranged to meet to watch a football game in the Foot Nik bar in Ebisu on the Hibiya Line, then, after a pretty good session of Liverpool thrashing Manchester United, we got stranded in Roppongi when the last train stopped and decided to go no further. Oh crap, an all-nighter - the only solution.

After going to Gas Panic (a popular hip-hop bar loved by young Japanese and foreigners) we ended up in an Irish bar where said friend decided to try and get the bar staff to buy him drinks based upon the premise that they were all from the Emerald Isle.

Needless to say, he annoyed a fair few of them before falling asleep on a toilet seat and being asked to leave. There we were sitting at our table, fruitlessly waiting for him to return, his coat - complete with a camera in the pocket - lying folded next to us.

So, before we embarked on our day of visiting the Ghibli Museum (a film studio dedicated to the animation master himself, Hayaho Miyazaki), we thought it was only right to deliver this guy's coat to his hostel in Inaricho.

However, we'd started early. I had been to Tokyo several times before and thought I'd seen rush hour on several occasions. How wrong I was.

Standing on the Metro platform of the (by Tokto standards, quiet) area of Minnowa at just before 8am, we noticed at every door point a man was standing in full uniform waiting for the tube to pull in.

When it did, it was like nothing I'd seen before on the Tokyo subway, or elsewhere. Each carriage was jammed to the brim with black and white figures pressed up against the glass and one another, faces vacant and completely natural.

The doors opened and those at the gap held onto the ceiling and door frame to avoid spilling out onto the platform. Yet, a group of people standing next to us, dressed in their work suits and polished shoes, walked into the mass grave of vertical people and still managed to get on, courtesy of the uniformed man, whose job it is to simply push, squash, compress and close train the doors on the dedicated workers of Tokyo.

We looked at one another.

"How are we.."

"I don't know."

"Shall we wait for the next one?"

"It'll just be the same."

He was right, it was the same, completely, as was the next one and the next one and the next one. But still people arrived at the platform and still they were jammed onto the impatiently waiting tubes by the pusher. He eyed us occasioanlly, no doubt amused by our timidity, though his face never betrayed this.

I would have been happy to take a seat on the platform and watch, maybe let an hour go by, while white gloves squashed more and more people into the sardine tin. They were so frequent - maybe ever two minutes, that the process became hypnotic, interesting, an ever-repeated feat of will, endurance and even grace.

However, I looked down at the thick black wooly coat in my hand, which was designed to keep out the winds of the Irish Sea and probably never expecting to see the Tokyo rush hour. We had to get on a train, it was that simple.

The best way to do this, it was decided, would be for me to use the woman's only carriage and him an average one, to increase our chances of being squashed into one of the spaceless carriages.

We approached our respective platform spaces. The white gloved man glanced at me.

The scream of metal pierced the air, a warm wind hit my face and the metal cylinder zoomed past before slowing to a stop, the black and white blurs gradually assuming their people-shaped forms.

A door opened in front of me to reveal a magnificent crowd of suited women pressed into a tiny space - some of them schoolgirls, hanging onto the overhead monkey rings.

Not an inch of space to be had - women spilled out onto the platform. I stepped back - it wasn't going to happen. But then, a glance down the platform confirmed that he had managed to get on the train and I hadn't. We hadn't talked about what might happen if one of us missed it this time around.

I gathered my nerves as the buzzer sounded and put my foot into the crowd of shoes. The white gloved man came up from behind and said "please", before pushing me into the vertical bed of women. I took a deep breath. The doors attempted to close, but the thick wooly coat got stuck in between them. My pusher's white gloves quickly squashed it into the diminishing the gap, before he stepped back from the platform and signalled along the line with a trusty orange stick.

There was little or no air in the carriage, but it felt comfortable, like being in a sleeping bag standing up. The height of summer, I'm sure, would be a different story, but in mid-March, the balance may have been just right.

I looked around (not up, for once) at other women's faces. They were incredibly reserved, steely and nonchalant, as the Japaneses' public faces are in most situations. A couple of friends chatted and giggled. maybe talking about an idiotic work colleague or a meeting they had that day. The tube stopped again and opened to a platform of patiently queuing suited people.

Holding onto the top edge of the door to stop myself falling out, I knew for a fact that nobody else could be squeezed on. Wrong! At least three women approached, the infinite queue behind them stopping as it became clear that, finally, there was no room left.

The air in my lungs emptied, again, again and again with each new passeneger. The last woman to brave the carriage approached the doors backwards, leaned into the crowd and pushed against the doorframe with all her might. Less air again, my blood felt like it was struggling around my body, like a marathon runner in their final mile.

Again, the great metal dragon lurched onwards through its underground caves. Our stop aproached -only two from Minnowa, but an achievement to an unfamiliar. When the doors opened, it seemed an impossibility to cut my way through the thick wall of bodies to get out. But somehow, these expert commuters around me forged the space quite effortlessly to allow others off train.

I burst from the shiny womb onto the platform to darting black jackets from every direction, breathing in the vacant air gratefully. To my right, he had also made it out of his carriage, busting out triumphantly like a zombie from a coffin.

We avoided the speeding commuters, each with their own essential missions, to reach one another. He held my hand and we ran up the concrete stairs to the sprawling zig-zagged corridors of bustling Ueno station. We laughed and reeled and enjoyed the adrenalin, propping ouselves up against a wall to recover. Rollercoasters, bungee jumps, parachutes, sex, drugs and drink all play second fiddle to a go on the Tokyo rush hour ride.

I take my hat off to Tokyo commuters - they do what Westerners do - face packed transport, long hours and hard work every day - under ten times more pressure. They do it all with relentless determination and much less moaning, rudeness and disrespect for their surroundings than we.

I was in awe.

Starbucks - to buy or not to buy? The environmental arguements

2009-02-21T02:03:00.001-08:00

I'm a coffee shop enthusiast - phew. It's taken me years to come out and say that. I didn't want to be one, but I am. I generally spend too much money on coffee, use too many eco-unfriendly paper cups, pack in too many baked goods calories and while away too many hours staring out of patterned, stickered windows watching busy people pass by.

But what's the problem, why be dubious about admitting a love for coffee shops? First, there's the image of it being an exclusively middle-class "I wanna be spotted looking intellectual" stuck-up book reader's reserve (no longer true - Starbucks is the MacDonalds of the coffee world).

Secondly, I think I saw too many episodes of satyrical sitcoms and cartoons at an impressionable age (i.e that Starbucks episode of South Park). Plus, all of this made an impression before I was even old enough to set foot in a coffee shop on my own.

So, when I came of coffee shop age, I had a pre-programmed vague adversity to Starbucks. Then, I started university and my relationship with coffee shops, local and international, began....aahhhh...

I bought rocky road cakes, blueberry, white chocolate and poppy seed muffins, soya milk lattes, skinny cappucinos, frappucinos, espressos-to-go, lightly salted parsnip chips, millionaire's shortbread, large teas with honey, Christmas cherry moccachinos, choco mint lattes, green teas, New York cheesecakes, chocolate gateaux and large black coffees to stay in.

The best thing about it all for me was bringing a newspaper or some work or a book along and just switching my auto pilot on for an hour or two while stuffing myself with cakes and hot drinks.

In the middle of all this, I noticed I'd been kind of avoiding Starbucks whenever I could and thought about why this might be. I mean, I'd never read any stories personally about Starbucks committing huge traversties/scandals/damaging the environment. They had recycled napkins and gave away coffee grounds for people's gardens - wow! Not massively eco-friendly I know, but I decided it wasn't really sensible to hate something for no reason, so I strode through the Starbucks threshold with a clear head and a hungry belly.

For the last few years, Starbucks was a good option and useful for a lot of reasons. They are all over the place and I visited before uni for a coffee shot to keep me awake before a 9am lecture. I shuffled in like a zombie the morning after a hangover. I wasted time before job interviews and exams sipping coffee and psyching myself up with revision and pre-prepared answers.

Also, as anyone who has upped sticks and moved abroad for an extended time knows, home comforts sometimes feel like a life-or-death necessity. When I was in Japan living in quite a small town, Starbucks was a reassuring resident and on the way to my train station - so take advantage of it I did. My friend and I, who lived an hour from me, often met in Starbucks, talked about everything, did the odd bit of work and ogled at a handsome employee on a regular basis. What could go wrong?

Then, in October last year, a firm confirmation that Starbucks is full of crap when it come to its holier-than-thou image hit the headlines and since then I have not spent a single penny on anything sold, owned or sponsored by the chain.

"US coffee-shop chain Starbucks has defended itself against claims of a serious waste of water by leaving taps running in its stores all day." (BBC, October 2008)

A UK customer, noticing that a tap had been running for the whole time he was in there, asked a Starbucks employee why they hadn't turned it off. The barista then said this is because they are told to leave taps running for the whole 13 hours that the shops are open as it is 'hygenic' and in line with the corporation's health and safety policy. The customer then wrote a letter to the top and received the same reply.

The Guardian reported: "Over 23.4m litres of water are poured down the drains of 10,000 outlets worldwide due to a policy of keeping a tap running non-stop.

It is enough daily water for the entire 2 million population of Namibia in Africa, which has severe droughts, or to fill an Olympic pool every 83 minutes.

A single Starbucks tap left running for just over three minutes wastes the amount of water one African needs to survive for a day in drought conditions."

The boss of the organisation defended this in the press, but there's no way that explanations can really cut it, not when as he speaks, thousands of litres of water, which is an increasingly dwindling commodity, are being wasted at the expense of the taxpayer and those who haven't got access to sustinable or safe supplies.

I'm no preaching environmentalist by any means, but when you think about the water that's being wasted, this is inexcusable from a global firm that has the power to set good examples to smaller companies and the droves of people that love and buy its products everyday (including celebrities, who in turn, influence others). I don't think any of us can really afford to overlook something like this - water is not a never-ending resource (see here for more).

Also, after assuming for some reason that its cups are recycled, I just found out that they aren't.

So, unless Starbucks at least makes some kind of effort to recycle, save water and take responsibility for the fact that things like water and paper will not last forever, I can't really justify buying coffee from it anymore.

PS) This article I read yesterday made me finally write this rant. Here's a brilliant run-down of Starbucks pricing by the author, William Sitwell.

"And you can't even get a small cup of coffee. No. You must order a tall - that's Starbucks-speak for small. Grande - which means big, and Vente which means very big. In reality, these would be more accurately known as Rip-Off, Daylight Robbery and Robbery With Violence."

One for St Valentine

2009-02-14T07:43:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!!!


Auden "Law Like Love" 1939

    Like love we don't know where or why,
    Like love we can't compel or fly,
    Like love we often weep,
    Like love we seldom keep.

Great entertainment, cook with dog

2009-02-14T07:28:00.000-08:00

I generally don't like sitting around and watching internet videos, because I feel like it's a bit lazy and I spend too much time online at work as it is. However, I can't stop watching this "Cook With Dog" series on YouTube. It's so funny and the food looks tasty - the dog's supposed to be talking while the woman makes all the food. I can't believe the dog doesn't go for the food the minute she turns her back. It's brilliant!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHDmVhShE80&feature=channel

Bacon/sausage/barbecue roll causes waves on the internet

2009-02-02T05:49:00.000-08:00

Mmmm, so tasty, looks good....who thought some bacon could cause such a stir?? I really want some of this, at the risk of a major heart attack.

"The instructions for constructing this massive, torpedo-shaped amalgamation of two pounds, or just under a kilogram, of bacon woven through and around two pounds of sausage and slathered in barbecue sauce first appeared last month on the Web site of a team of Kansas City competition barbecuers. They say a diverse collection of well over 16,000 Web sites have linked to the recipe, celebrating, or sometimes scolding, its excessiveness."

http://www.iht.com/articles/2009/01/29/america/bacon.1-418363.php

Finally writing for a newspaper

2009-01-30T15:45:00.001-08:00

I'm finally writing for a publication that is officially, commercially in print. My interview is on the site, but something might make it into the paper version one week.....

http://www.citylife.co.uk/music/features/news/12210_manc_return_for_joy_formidable_s_ritzy_

Hold on, doesn't seem to be working, but never mind.

Watch that space, anyway, for more Tench literary action...

How to make real Japanese Raamen

2009-01-30T15:41:00.001-08:00

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=-wa0umYJVGg

How to make Raamen - while a grey poodle watches you.

Oh and one other thing...

2008-12-31T08:29:00.001-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR to anyone who might ever visit this little space of the cyber universe. Have a good one and 2009 will probably have something good, just for you.......all the bestness to all ye wenches and chaps.

Scouse girls and pjyamas in public

2008-12-31T07:54:00.000-08:00

After going back home for a week (to my native land of Liverpool...) I was surprised to see that a hot fashion movement prevailent when I had my first ever job in a little newsagent's nine years ago has come back with a vengeance.

For a reason that is lost on me, girls from Liverpool (please let me know if this happens in other places, but as far as I can see, they are on their own on this one...) currently think they look EXCELLENT when they walk around in public in their pjyamas.

I really wish I'd taken some photos for those who don't believe that this really is a widespread thing.

Not only that, but as if this strange viewpoint wasn't hard to grasp enough, the ultimate accessory for pjyamas is a large coat or jacket and a PAIR OF UGG BOOTS!!!

This reminds me of the time when blokes used to (and some still do...) think that tucking their traksuit bottoms into their white sports socks made them look really good. (Again, I wish I has a photo, but I PROMISE that this is true.)

What's going on in Liverpool? Surely a law banning the Ugg boots/pjyama combination on the streets should be put out there. What are neighbourhood watch doing about this? Where are snipers when you need them?

I don't mean to be rude about these lovely people, but... SKANKS!!!

PS) Jennifer Ellison, everyone's favourite Nobel prize-winning brainbox who completely deserves her fame, was today spotted wearing slippers in the street! I applaud her - she is clearly doing her damn best to boost the image of her fellow Liverpudlians for the purposes of tourism.

Link here - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1103045/Cinderella-panto-star-Jennifer-Ellison-appears-slippers--shes-wearing-street.html

Mikhail Beketov

2008-11-24T05:02:00.001-08:00

Was upset, though not too surprised to read this story today...

http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSTRE4AG6BZ20081118

I REALLY hope Beketov recovers, though it's unlikely that anyone will be punished for leaving him for dead.

I WAS a teacher, afterall!

2008-11-23T04:09:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I forget I was a teacher, something quite respectable that I should remind myself and others of more often! Hhahaa. Here are some of my finest teaching moments.....

Obama's CIA Briefing

2008-11-23T02:23:00.000-08:00

I just read the funniest thing about Barack Obama's CIA briefing a couple of weeks ago following his election win.

He made it to the HQ to be briefed on all things most important to national security as well as past events.

The article featured comments from a presidential aide called Lucas Whiteman, who told the press about Obama's first CIA meeting.

From the article: "It has emerged that Mr Obama spent most of the afternoon ignoring larger issues of the day such as Russian interventions in the Caucasus and Iranian Nuclear expansion in favour of finding out what actually really happened to President John F Kennedy."

He went straight for the file marked "Dallas 1963" as well as the ones on Roswell, Marilyn Monroe, Watergate etc... Hahaha!

It continues: "Obama was one of the most vocal [presidents] about it. All afternoon all we could hear through the door were things like ‘Well I’ll be darned…’, and ‘Oh God, that’s good…’ and ‘Well I’ll be a son of a ….’. The only one he didn’t read was the one marked ‘Weapons of Mass Destruction’ as he said he ‘pretty much knew all about that one already."

Hahhaha!!! Sounds like he's very much an average human being, then.

Conspiracy theorists will no doubt believe that the following files also exist:

"US Moon landings - filmed in Hollywood",
"9/11 - How we actually pulled it off",
"President Bush - constructed in labs using sticky back plastic and tissue paper",
"Arnold Schwarzenegger - battered his way to the top!"
"Roswell - We lied!"
"Oil - yep, it's valuable!"
"Weapons of mass destruction - we keep them in Nevada!"

2008-09-16T12:27:00.000-07:00

I'd just like to say that I went to see Jeffrey Lewis last night and I can't remember when I last went to see someone as good as that. I shall be reveiwing it shortly....(not here I think...)

'One Day In The LifeOf Ivan Denisovich (Shukhov)' Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

2008-07-14T10:41:00.000-07:00

Whenever I see books/TV shows/news stories from places I visited on my travels, I find I'm a lot more interested in them because I've been to the country/walked around it's streets/tried its food/met some locals, etc...

I stumbled across 'One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich', by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, and assuming it was based on a real account (as the intro really lauded its importance as a true picture of gulag camps) I started reading it, finishing it a few days later.

Then, I realised it's fictitious, and I wondered why I thought it was autobiographical in the first place. Probably because Solzhenitsyn's writing style is so detailled and candid, nothing is too mundane, too insignificant for the reader to be spared.

It also reminded me of Orwell's 'Down and Out in Paris and London', as, though Orwell is a free man, poverty restricts his choices throughout the novel. The restrictions resemble those of Shukhov (the protagonist) in 'Down and Out...', specifically the when Orwell has to go into 'the spike' to get a sheltered sleep.

Some great quotes/bits of writing from this novel...

'"How do you make that out?" Shukov answeed in surprise. "The old folk say the sun is highest at dinner time."
"Maybe it was, in their day!" the captain snapped back.
"Since then, it's been decreed that the sun is highest at one o'clock."
"Who decreed that?"
"The Soviet government."
The captain took off with the handbarrow, but Shukov wasn't going to argue anyway. As if the sun would obey their decrees!'

'Some people have nothing better to do run races in stadiums of their own free will. Silly devils should try running for their lives bent double after a day's work. In this cold with wet mittens and worn-out boots.'

'The mess was its usual self-frosty air steaming in from the door, men at the tables packed as tight as seeds in a sunflower, men wandering between tables, men trying to barge their way through with full trays.'

'The belly is an ungrateful wretch, it never remembers past favours, it always wants more tomorrow.'

'Because, Alyosha, prayers are like petitions-either they don't get through at all, or else it's "complaint rejected".'

'He himself took the lump of sausage-and popped it into his mouth. Get the teeth into it. Chew, chew chew! Lovely meaty smell! Meat juice, the real thing. Down it went, into his belly.
End of sausage.'

Ode To Being In A Bar

2008-07-03T18:35:00.000-07:00

You're chatting,
He's chatting,
She's chatting
About something you
did last week.
That's rubbish and I don't really
care, somebody
listen to me-
right now now,
now right now!!!!!!!!

Blinding

2008-07-03T18:27:00.000-07:00

Leaning out of my window
with a beer at 3am,
againt a pink and blue light
(No thanks to Specsavers) I can't discern
If you are a star a-glowing,
Or just stationary
736 Boeing.

Graduate Job Hunt Struggle.

2008-06-25T12:38:00.000-07:00

Aaah job hunting is a nightmare...where am I going wrong?

If you take away the nightmare words "Marketing", "Sales", "B2B", "Bluechip", "Recruitment" "Graduate agency" and "FHM=Fun+Hard work=Money!" you are left with.....(drumroll).....Nothing!

EVERY DAY I trawl the 'net and send my CV off via. email-I have stopped being discerning-it goes to whoever, whenever, (within reason, of course-I'm not being overly fussy, though).

The point is, I'm trying hard here and getting literally two replies a week (if that) saying "You do not suit our needs at this time"...mostly for secretary work! It does NOT take a genius to be a secretary, for God's sake! I can type! I can organise! I'm not a retard...(all of the time).

WHY DID I STUDY ENGLISH?!?!?!

I really wish I'd have known that it would be this useless. It's far too general, and teaching seems to be the inevitable miserable avenue down which most of my contemporaries venture.

Sods law dictated that I would only appreciate how useful and interesting foreign languages are AFTER I left University. If I could go back five years and tell my Uni fresher self about the job struggle and just how little an English degree prepares you for the practical world of work, I'm sure I.... would not have even listened, actually....(I was a stubborn child...)

But if I could go back, I'd do the sandwich degree of Journalism with a foreign language-two year at uni, one year STUDYING (not physically working) in a foreign country, then one last year at uni again. OH WHY DIDN'T I READ THE DAMN PROSPECTUS?!?!?!

In the words of that mulleted blonde-streaked eejit, Rod Stewart..."I wish that I knew what I know now..." etc...

Will someone give me a job, PLEASE?!?! How am I supposed to get on the ladder if nobody will give me a lift up? Telephone sales, marketing or recruitment agencies need not reply, thank you......

The Best Bars In Kokura

2008-06-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

Kokura Bar Guide - The best bars and Cafes in Kokura, Kitakyushu, Japan.

My first chance to explore Kokura properly was Golden Week in April 2007. I'd been in Japan for about a fortnight, had no money and was waiting for my first wage packet.

The first few days of the holiday were a bit miserable, I wandered around with the impression that everything was concrete, dusty and uneventful to say the least. The 12 months ahead seemed grim and I started inwardly doubting if I could stick out my contract.

However, a change of perspective and adjusting from a big city (Manchester) to a smaller, more spread-out one made me appreciate Kokura. So did a year's worth of evenings and weekends meandering through little back streets, arcades and stations to discover the surprisingly varied nightlife going on there.

Most people living in and around Kitakyushu (Tobata, Yahata, Kurosaki, Kokura, etc...) will probably go to Tenjin in Fukuoka for a good night out.

But, anyone (JET's, OWL's or other teachers/expats/workers) finding themselves in Kitakyushu for a long stretch should check out these places in Kokura.

Despite what they may first think, there is something for everyone and venturing into the smaller, weirder bars really makes for a memorable evening. You also tend to make some good friends, or at least get used to some regular faces.

I went wandering on more than several occasions and as a foreign woman on her own, did find it daunting at first.

But people are so friendly, or just plain curious, and they'll pretty much welcome you gladly once they relax a bit. Have a good one in Kokura and don't be scared to explore....enjoy!

PS) A map is on the way, apologies for the geographical guessing game until then.

Righa Royal Hotel (23rd Floor) Cocktail Bar

This place is amazing, a great bar to start your night. Don't be put off by the upmarket feel-you can turn up in jeans and T-shirt for a casual bar crawl or stay in there all evening in your best dresses/suits and jewellery. Cocktails are a reasonble price of around 1,000 Yen (approx £5) each, and are generous on the spirits. The decoration is minimalist, the lights and celings are low and a pianist and singer emerge from the rising curtain every night purring out slinky jazz (mainly Western) tunes. This is glamorous stuff, maybe the most top-end bar in Kokura. Plus, it also affords THE best 360 degree view of the city, including the starry lights across the straits. Lovely stuff.

The Rihga Royal cocktail bar can be reached by leaving Kokura Station through the North (back) and simply following the tallest building you can see. Even better, just head for the large glass tunnel leading from the back of the station, which takes your right to the hotel door.

Shirokiya

This place is a restaurant, but can be visited for a (massive) beer and a great atmosphere with friends. It's also good for some food before heading out, or home, for the night as you can order as much or as little as you like and enjoy the laid-back, very Japanese atmosphere. Quirky surroundings include a glass floor with rock gardens and sand, sliding paper doors, moody lighting and old wooden benches.

Gen's

More to come....

Bumblebees

This the best place around for a cheap beer, a bit of reggae, projected Tom and Jerry movies on loop and a laid-back atmosphere. Marvel at the massive candle on the bar, shelves of spirits and very friendly owners. Last time I checked (April 2009), a beer was 400 Yen, one of the cheapest around. Can't go far wrong here.

Standing Bar

Standing bar, tucked away in Kokura's arcades, is a bit difficult to find, but rewarding once you do. Slot some cash into the machine for a voucher that you swap for beer and/or bar snacks, such as some shredded squid. Very welcoming, always some salarymen to chat to and a nice upstairs space to sit in.

Lucky Moon

Whether its the conspicuous English language sign outside, the cheap drinks and quirky surroundings or its relative easiness to find, Lucky Moon is one of Kokura's biggest expat magnets. Decked out inside like an old ship's galley, Lucky Moon has an impressive shelf of spirits and lots of cocktails and beers on offer. Friendly and reliable. No air con in summer, so be prepared to get your sweat on.

Moon Shan

This may be the most memorable bar in Kokura and one of it's best-kept secrets. If you can find it. From the outside, Moon Shan looks like a paper-covered wooden-framed window. If it wasn't for the misshapen bicycle decoated with fairy lights keeping watch outside, non-Japanese would not look twice at the place. However, once you've slid the door aside, a row of eyes look up surprisedly and you will find yourself in the smallest, messiest and most interesting bar in the town. 500 yen a beer and surprisingly good food on offer. Slide down the small alleyway next to 24-hour supermarket Maruwa to spot it.

Soap Bar

Cool, calm and slighty pretentious, Soap bar is angled firmly towards the arty crowd, but attracts a mixed bag of people of all ages and backgrounds. Sit on a matress surrounded by books and films being projected on the whitewashed walls. Regular art, film and music events are held here and the nonchalantly great-looking bar staff give it extra points.

Darts Bar

Throwing plastic darts at a plastic board with pre-drilled holes is surprisingly fun and a lot safer than metal ones after a few beers. Darts bar is the place to come for a bit of this action, with weird board games also dotted around the room. Drinks are reasonably priced and Western-friendly restaurant Wara Wara is just one floor above. Also in the same building is Big Echo karaoke - food, darts and singing all under one roof.

Nombe's

Nombe's is an ultra-late closing reliable watering hole for those living in Kokura and is well worth a visit for those by passing through. It's not so much the cosy wooden benches and atmosphere, but its jokey owner Wacki that is the attraction - he can always be relied upon to provide a giggle and some good company. For the summer matsuri festival, when the town comes out in full force in jinbeis and yukatas, he may bring the bar upstairs and out onto the street so drinkers can enjoy the warm summer nights out of doors. A glass of beer costs around 500 yen and there are lots of international bottles on the menu.

Coltrane's

This is an example of how, when the Japanese recreate Western culture, they go all-out to get it just right. Coltrane's is in the nightlife quarter of the city (hereby called 'the seedy quarter'), close to Bumblebees, Don Dada's and the Pitt Inn. A very limited number of guests can only just squeeze into the oblong shoe box-shaped bar. However, once in, a massive wall of spirits, brightly polished surroundings and a sole bartender dressed pristinely as a tuedoed, quiffed teddy boy will greet you. Watching the stoic ever-focussed barman mix your cocktails is a relaxing and impressive ritual. This doesn't come cheap, as one drink can often exceed Y1,000, but it's a good old treat nonetheless.

Moonbeams

Kokura's ultimate summertime bar in a prime spot slong the Murasaki River means you probably couldn't miss Moonbeams if you wanted to. Oposite Rivewalk shopping centre on the wooden boardwalk, Moonbeams sells coffee, beer and hot dogs in the day and at night is home to a great open air summer drinking spot, DJs and music. Don't miss it.

Pit Inn

This is as rough and ready as it sounds, but is fun, cheap and quirky with beers at around 400 to 500 yen. Throw the shells of the free monkey nuts provided on the floor and become a local. For some reason, they have shrine to the film 'Scarface' in the corner and the movie plays on a loop. I told you it was weird.

Booties Irish Bar

The only Irish-themed bar in the city, Booties is hard to miss, being on a major road, and is good for a Guinness or a whisky, if a bit pricey. The fish and chips are respectable for a hungry expat, but avoid the microwaved steak 'pie' at all costs.

Shot Bar

Called simply 'shot bar', this little European-style cafe with chequered tablecloths opens from early evening onwards. It's name is a little misleading as it has a big menu of food and snacks (all written in English and Japanese) as well as soft drinks, magazines and a table of items, such as jewellery and hair accessories for sale. Film posters dot the walls. Good prices.

Wara Wara

In the same building as darts bar, this restaurant branch has a similar set-up to the aforemementioned Shirokiya, but is busier, smokier and a little more rough around the edges. It is always a sure bet, however and the menus are translated in English and have huge pictures for failsafe pointing and nodding. You can find another Wara Wara just to the right as you leave Kurosaki Station - it's smaller and quieter, but no less tasty.

Bob's Bar

A small, but slightly-bigger-than-average bar based in a little room in the 'Wisteria' building, which is located on the edges of the seedy quarter. Bob's bar has free karaoke and a friendly American host (Bob). Good luck finding it - I think it's on the 6th floor...all part of the adventure, though!

Sex, Drugs and Rock N' Rock (SDR)

SDR is a filthy, peeling, painted, amazing little bar on the 4th floor of a building in the seedy quarter on the same road as Bob's Bar. It's great for its (fluctuating) happy hours, when beer is just 300 yen and cocktails 400 yen. Rock, metal and all kinds of great music is blasted out into the bar, which is painted like one giant tattoo and often attracts the expats.

Xelha's

Having being set up and owned by Scottish expat Colin, 'Xelah's Tropical Paradise' is now under the new, very capable management of a local. This is Kokura's quintessental expat bar, the place that will provide, without fail, a multi-cultural, well-travelled (and typically loud) crowd. Home comforts come in the form of an international drinks menu (scotch whisky, spirits, Guinness and Strongbow cider etc... ) as well as everything from thai green curry and rice to fish and chips and mango-flavoured ice cream. However, the dancefloor is what people come for at weekends, as there's always guaranteed to be something going on and a mixture of indulgently cheesy and OK songs. A pint will set you back around 500 yen.

Marroon

This is what aforementioned Colin of Xelah's resigned his original expat bar for. Marroon peddles itself as a more sophistocated, smaller and relaxed alternative to Xelah's. It has inherited some of the international facets of it's sister bar, but is decorated in red and white sixties-themed furniture, with the odd homely football strip and scarf gracing the walls. Reasonably priced beer, relaxed atmosphere and a bit of banter in English give this place its good qualities.

Grassroots

Serving the need for young, attitude-laden well-dressed loungers, Grassroots is a good place to go to relax and listen to a good range of cooler-than-thou dance/reggae/funk/soul music. A stint on the decks is not unheard of either, if you're nice enough to the bar staff. You also may catch sight of some locals kitted out in Blues Brothers-style outfits. They're probably not yakuza. Probably.

Break On Through

This bar can be hard to spot unless the sign is sitting outside of its heavy wooden door. However, the good news is, it's on the ground floor and once you're in, no more navigation is required. Beers come in at around 600 yen and you may be sitting in the company of some of Kokura's most dedicated rockers. Jim Morrison, the Who and sixties posters line the walls. The barman may show you his collection of strange memorabilia or put on a music video for drinkers nostalgic for some 60s sounds.

Megahertz

Unfortunately, Kokura is short on dancefloors, but Megahertz provides one of a few places to pull shapes. There are regular events held here, including live music and DJ nights. You can be sure of a friendly reception, decent prices and ambient surroundings, again, if you can find it, that is.

Birdmanhaus

This roomy student bar is in the backstreets near to Kitakyushu University and can be reached from the University monorail stop. It is THE best place to see a band in Kitakyushu. Easily bigger than most other bars and decorated to resemble and old living room, the walls are lined with shelves of CDs, any of which you can hand to the barman for a spin. Beer is around 500 yen and gin and tonics 7/800 Yen for a double. The old chintzy chairs, tall lamps and worn rugs give it a grungy feel, and along with the computer consoles scattered around, make a great place to be. Watch out for the rough-and-ready, but fun, toilet, which is (not so) artistically placed in the middle of a storeroom.

Folk Village

If it's live music you like, the the Folk Village is a decent bet. Japanese artists rule the playlist, so the experience doesn't get much more authentic than this. Drinks can be pricey (all in cans) and if you go on open mic night, which is free, the musicians may throw a few English songs or phrases in for fun - something that can be a giggle, but also generate a bit of self-consciousness. Tickets for better-known artists begin at around 2,000 yen and rise steeply thereafter.

Finally, just for fun, the Kokura Bar Awards. Applause please...

Best place for...

Outdoor summer drinks
Moonbeam
Kokura Castle/the shrine (get some cans and sit on the grass/stairs)

Music
Birdmanhaus
Megahertz
Moonbeam

Cheap Beer
Bumblebee's
Standing Bar
SDR

Food
Shirokiya
Gyu Kakku (great yaki-nikku)
Wara Wara
Raamen from street stalls

Cocktails
Righa Royal
Don Da Da
Coltrane's

Coolness
Soap Bar
Cafe Bongo
Grassroots

Japanese Racists/Xenophobics (will like to stare and possibly make fun of you...)
Break on Through
The Folk Village

After-work drinks
Standing bar

Karaoke
Bob's Bar
Festa's (maybe closed)
Big Echo

Arty surroundings/ film showing's etc...
Soap Bar
Megahertz

Expats
Xelah's
Lucky Moon
Maroon
Booties Irish Bar
Moonbeam

Late one
Nombe's
Bob's Bar
Festa's/Big Echo

Quirk
Moon Shan
Coltrane's
Pitt Inn

Hope you enjoyed this nonsense as much as me.

2008-06-07T04:22:00.000-07:00

After just having an (unusually early for saturday) coffee (and gourmet jelly bean factory) breakfast with a friend down the road, we got onto the subject of saving then travelling then coming home and finding you want nothing more to be a penniless traveller again rocking up in a new place everyday.

It's so true-most people I met along my travels and stayed in touch with after the travelling was done have said the same...

"If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss...

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!"

This is the best thing in life-save up, go travelling, blow your cash, arrive back penniless. Repeat process until dead. Travelling is the new motgage and kids....except, unlike the model "man, my son", in Kipling's poem, I do moan quite a lot (you are now reading the physical evidence of this...)

Sorry, Rudyard, I'm ALMOST a perfect man, but then blogging came along and provided a vehicle for "breathing words of my loss......" We all gotta moan, my son. We all gotta moan.

Unemployment-The rocks

2008-06-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

I have fallen into the rut I didn't think I would when I was travelling about with my little rucksack, dreaming about how great it would be when I get back to the UK.

Six weeks into being home, I wake up, I make breakfast (always the same-muesli and hot milk) I spend about an hour on the internet, I shower, then look for and apply for jobs online (hardly ever any replies), I depress myself by looking at the Guardian Jobs site, where the vacancies are director this, chairman that, you must have one million years expeience in a similar, managerial role... AAAHHGghh. Faceless jobs I will never get-and probably wouldn't want, if I was thinking clearly right now.

Even Amnesty International, which you'd think would be all for a big 'everyone has the right to do what they like and be paid!!!' welcome, come on in!!... only ever advertises impossibly high up jobs which start a forty grand a year. Come on, man, forget prisoners of war, where are my human rights to a well-paid job, amnesty!?! I tell you...

Anyway, by the time the job hunt is over, I may or may not have a splitting headache with a nosebleed thrown in for luck (sitting at computers doesn't agree with me) and then I will go out for some length of time, usually just fora walk or to an art gallery (whic are all free here in Manchester-thank you New Labour!) before getting back in time to make my boyfriend's dinner then spend an average of four hours with him sitting in the living room before he has to go to bed to leave the flat ridiculously early in the morning (sometimes around 7am) in time to see me fast asleep and snoring, dreaming about being the chairwoman of Amnesty International...

I really must find a job soon, my sanity DEPENDS upon it!!!

Going to Russia and China made me re-think my long-standing rose-tinted admiration for Communism and generally fighting the system (oh riiiight!) but this has been the icing on the cake...the grass is ALWAYS greener, and unfortunately, right now, the grass for me is a job...
Didn't think I would EVER say that.

Typical Japanese Apartments: What To Expect.

2008-06-06T09:38:00.000-07:00

Japanese apartment blocks tend to be owned by one person-slightly like in Briatin, though the landlord is more likely to take a lot more pride in the building and acually live on the top floor themselves kind of like some kind of penthouse footballer looking down over his empire.

The landlord usually owns the whole building, not just the prime position on the top floor. Here is an example of a Japanese apartment block-unfortunately you can't see it from this angle but it has the owner's name emblazoned on the side in massive katakana letters, like a big ship floating at sea (my apartment block-pink and white on the right side)....

Again, as I frequently found, my expectations had adjusted themselves to stereotypes (though I tried not to let them to) and I had osme image of a cramped, earthquake-swaying apartment space in my head. Therefore, the first surprise in store for me was the size- my apartment had more than enough room for one person, and good enough for having guests over to stay (which I did quite regularly-sometimes for weeks at a time). I had a walk-in closet, a small 'genkan' (hallway where you leave your shoes) and a walk in shower room, the inside of which was just a massive plastic fixture, watertight and great for making a mess in. The bath, however, may annoy your average Westerner, being very tall, but exceptionally short. Nice for a vertically challenged girl like me-I had no complaints about the bath. Except sometimes I filled it too high and almost cause a tsunami when I plonked myself in it...

Another great thing which I didn't know before I set foot in the place was that it had a BALCONY!! Woohoo!! Great surprise number two. Over the year, I didn't use it as much as I would have liked to, as it was quite small, noisy and a party ground for mosquitos in the summer, but, in Britain having a balcony is an abnormal privelage and reserved for people with a certain amount of cash.

In Japan, and other Asian countries I visited, such as Korea and China, having a balcony is as common as drinking water. In fact, the image of clothes strung out to dry across a balcony is almost synomymous with the East. When I think back over my travels-I can't seperate the two in my head.

Here is the view from my balcony....

NAH just kidding, this is it...

Har! Seriously, this time....

Not so bad, I always thought. Though, being near to the urban expressway (roads built over roads because of the volume of traffic which end up looking like a network of dusty, tangled legs) everything got FILTHY so quickly, (including washing) and no amount of attacking it with a brush and buckets of water would solve the problem.

Japanese toilets also seem to amaze people when they first encounter them (especially men, who are so fussy about luxorious toilets...wimps...) but I think this is the sheer gadgetry which seduces you at first. They have heated seats (if you turn them on far enough in advance)

In the end, I decided that I didn't really like these toilets at all. They're supposed to reduce the use of toilet paper, but it doesn't work like that at all, because you generally still use paper anyway. Plus,the only time when a heated seat is any good, on cold winter mornings, they take so long to heat anyway that I'm onto breakfast and out the door by the time they've warmed up. Plus, most people, including kidergarten teachers, just leave them on permanently. So, energy saving, my a%$e.... they are really there for the gadgetry.

The floors in Japanese apartments are always laminated wood. Maybe some people will have rugs over the majority of their floor, but, the floors will generally always be wooden. I did like my floor, dust and dirt just accumulate in drifts, making them easy to vaccum, and you can slide around on your socks at any time, always great a celebration when you receive good news. I used to polish mine up really well so that you could get a rug and slide right across he room-I did this for my apartment inspection, to give the inspectooors a little addd extra...

Bad points were that they carry echoes (so your neighbours get disturbed by your noisy habits) and if you sneakly slip up on the shoe rule, the floor marks quite easily...there were many times when I came home after a few too many and forgot to take off my heels...big mistake....

Something else noteably different is the use of electric stoves instead of gas, because of eathquake risks, and therefore, whistly kettles. I'm sure you can buy plug-in kettles, and there were extra sockets in my kitchen, but steam-operated ones which whistle seem to be quite popular. I did become quite fond of mine in the end, and it made me amazed when I got back home that the kettle boiled in under five minutes...bonus discovery...expectations lowered! I als used to play a little game, if I was busy when the kettle gave off it's feeble prelimiary whistle, I'd wait and see how long I could leave it befoere it broke out into an ear-shattering scream...kind of like chicken, but aged 24, and with a whistly kettle.

In the kitchen, everything was pretty much as it was except for the lack of hobs (one hob!) the whistly kettle and, of course, the OVEN SITAUTION! Nobody in Japan seems to own an oven bigger than, at best, a hamster cage. This is likely to be because of the gas situation again, but it's frustartaing for someone who loves a good cook up over a lovely blue flame.

I had one hob and a small microwave perched on the top of my fridge for cooking with. This is partly why eating out or buying a bento (see bento post...) is not only cheaper most of the time, but a lot more convenient. This is a pity, because I met a lot of people who liked to cook in Japan-especially bakery products, which are immensely popular.

Some of my students mothers, for example, used to bring me and my partner teachers bags of cookies or cake they had cooked themselves, and tasted (and were wrapped) like department store counter sweets. I'd love let some of those people in front of an Aga in a massive countryside kitchen with all the raw materials they needed to cook up a hurricane. I'll bet they'd beat Gordon Ramsays ass-if only they had the ovens to do it with...

On another little side subject, the things above are proved by the presence of these in the larger shopping malls....

There are two ABC cooking studios in Kokura-one in the Riverwalk shopping mall on the 4th floor, and one on the top floor of the Isetan department store. They were alwasy really busy whenever I passed them.

Anyway, back to my apartment. Another point worth mentioning which is quite a contrast to the West was the level of care the landlord took over absolutely everything. he was responsilbe for finding new tennants, so (unlike here when you deal with stoic Estate Agents), he cared whether or not your apartment was in a decent state when you left, and, as long as you were honest about things you may have damaged, he seemed to be a reasonable man on this point.

One of my fellow teachers had made a fist-shaped hole in his wall, and, though everyone (maybe including himself) thought he was gonna fry for it, the landlord apparently giggled when he explained how it had happened (in sign language, of course...) and said he'd repair it quite easily. I suppose we had the advantage of having our company deal with our accomodation, however, as some expats tell nightmare stories of the dreaded 'Key money' situation and being not too well favoured as a Western neighbour by other dubious residents.

See here... http://forum.japantoday.com/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=947110&start=0&st=0&sk=t&sd=a

Or here...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Key_money

So, stay on the right side of your landlord (this goes for pretty much anyone in Japan...collegaues, acquaintances, the little old lady in the shop..) and you shouldn't get any trouble.

Though nobody was officially named (although if you asked the boss after a few he'd cover his ass with the trial and error game so he didnt actually say it out loud..."Was it Johnny?" "Nooo,"/"Was it Jenny?" "Nooo"..."Was it Paul?"...*Silence*) there was a time when I first moved in that an unsatisfactory Email was sent around...

Can you all make sure that you put out your rubbish as stated below, in the right bags (which you buy from a convenience store).

Mr (Landlord's name) doesn’t seem too happy with people putting their rubbish out any old how.

Thanks a lot

(Bosses name)

The photos attached show how to separate your rubbish and do your recycling in Japan...

There are colour coded bags for everything, and while this was sometimes a pain, it is actually a really good thing, and not difficult to adjust to. The Japanese over-package SO much (there are plastic wrappers over plastic containers of pocket MINTS for God's sake!) and I was always shocked by how quickly I filled up the green bags (for plastic wrapping) with food packaging.

On a proud note, Kitakyushu is supposed to be a pioneering city of waste disposal, since getting a poor name for itself as an ugly industrial eyesore in the sixties before cleaning up its act...

http://www.city.kitakyushu.jp/pcp_portal/PortalServlet;jsessionid=FFFAC55B8A6BF057480
ED2C04B31F889?DISPLAY_ID=DIRECT&NEXT_DISPLAY_ID=U000004&
CONTENTS_ID=14935

The only thing missing from all of this stringent recycling organisation is PAPER. There is no home paper recycling facility, which would be useful for the massive volume of junk mail which accumulates in your mailbox on a daily basis (it has to be seen to be believed). Ah well, we all have an achillies heel...

Anyway, thank you for reading this little snippet on Japanese apartment from the point of view of a wide eyed not so fresh faced Twenty something Northerner-I hope it is of some use in some shape or form.

Psychometric and numerical testing...

2008-05-22T00:32:00.001-07:00

Question 1.) What is the next number in this sequence...

45, 67, 89, 101, 112, .....

a.) I DON'T CARE
b.) I DON'T CARE
c.) I DON'T CARE.

Unemployment

2008-05-19T00:39:00.001-07:00

Being unemployed is a like winning a years supply of cake. I get something brilliant every day at the unfortunate cost of having three more chins.

It's true that having no job means I can get up whenever I like, do as little or as much as I want everyday, wander around the city and be a laaady of leisure ...HOWEVER, Having absolutely no money throws a massive and annoying spanner in the lovely, ignorant machinery of unemployment. Damn you, money!

You are, indeed the root of all evil...Why can't everybody just live for free? We could establish a society upon which swapping things was essential. Give me that tin of fruit for this child....that could be such a good idea. Someone get the petition to Gordon Brown QUICK......

Things I can do for free...

1.) Sit
2.) Cycle around
3.) Walk about
4.) Write
5.) Read books/news/graffitti
6.) Go to the library
7.) Think
8.) Busk on the streets of Manchester....
9.) Sleep (on the streets of Manchester, if preferred...)
10.) Window shop
11.) Laugh.

Oh yeah, take that 9-5...

My last Night in Kokura-Farewell!!!!

2008-03-30T01:42:00.000-07:00

Weep weep...

The Best Of Japan...Me and Double C!

2008-03-23T02:01:00.001-07:00

Best Of Japan...FOOD AND DRINK!!!

2008-03-22T01:13:00.001-07:00

Food I am REALLY going to miss when I get back to the UK.....

1.) Raamen!!!

2.) Takoyaki!!!
3.) Sashimi (salmon, mackerel, red eye tuna, white tuna...aaahg!)

4.) 100 Yen Sushi

5.) Doriaki

6.) Steamed dumplings

7.) Gyoza!!!

8.) Azuki bean paste (anco?!)

9.) Okonomiyaki

10.) Japanese rice

11.) Interestingly flavoured rice crackers

12.) Brillian tofu dishes

13.) Custard-filled fish-shaped sweets from Hakata's street stalls.

14.) Green tea

15.) Umeshu

16.) Chu-Hi

17.) Octopus

18.) Dried, shredded squid.

19.) Cheap beer on any corner which you can drink in public and still look perfectly normal.

20.) Cooking your own food as you share and chat with friends (Shabu-shabu, yakki-nikku, hotplates at the table, etc...)

21.) Outdoor street stalls

22.) (Though I hate to admit it) Trandor cakes...especially curry donuts!

23.) BENTO!

Food I am NOT going to miss when I get back to the UK.....

1.) Rubbish bread

2.) Fruit and veg with hardly any shelf life

3.) Cakes which are far too small

4.) Tiny portions

5.) Yakitori (I just don't get the fuss)

6.) Rubbish crisps

7.) Green tea flavoured things

8.) Polished, waxed and fussily presented fruit

9.) Expensive fruit

10.) Having to look at packs of soft, soggy chicken skin, fish eggs and intestines in the supermarket.

11.) CRRRRRAPPY wine.

12.) Weiners

13.) EVERYTHING being covered in mayonnaise in a criss-cross pattern

14.) The annoying half-poured presentation of low-quality curry and rice.

15.) Stupid, plastic food models on display outside restaurants everywhere.

16.) The way even international dishes always somehow still taste and look Japanese (due to the above factors...)

17.) "Milk" with a two week shelf life which makes all tea taste, also, CRRRRRRRRRAPPY.

I am going to really miss Japan's food culture-sayonara! (weep, weep!)

Best Of Japan....random people I will probably never meet again.

2008-03-22T00:48:00.000-07:00

Apartment Inspection....Passed!

2008-03-22T00:36:00.000-07:00

My apartment was due to get it's second inspection on Thursday 2oth March, which was ALSO a National Holiday...no coincidences there-"if you must have a day off, we will do our best to scupper it! How dare you have fun?" Anyway, I got home on Wednesday night thinking a quick scrub and floor polish would do, but, I realised I had more on my hands than I thought.......

I finally finished glueing things, painting over wallpaper mould and marks and doing various patch-up jobs at 6AM! I was supposed to go to Hakata for farewell drinks that night, but there was no way I could have made it....I slept until 11am, an hour before they were due, and once it was over, I realised how over-worried I'd been about the whole thing....twenty minutes and everything was fine. My microwave plate was a problem, apparently, as it is stained with many many nights of dinners. So, I took it to my employers office, apparently to get it replaced free of charge.

I won't get personal about my company director, but her face was none too impressed when she learned that I'd been allowed to get a new plate at the cost of about a fiver....then she suggested that I simply swap it with another empty apartment's!!!! The phrase "Tight as a duck's &*#!" sprang to mind...Plus, I still have to live here for another week-how am I going to cook tea now my plate has been held hostage? Life is a minefield sometimes.......

"Grandpa, I'm home!" - The dynamic of the Japanese family.

2008-03-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

One of the biggest cultural differences I see every day, being a Western English teacher in Japan, is the family dynamic.

A lot of my students live in houses or even apartments with their mothers, fathers, siblings and grandparents,-the same applies to my Japanese work collegagues and older students who, commonly, are well into their twenties, thirties, forties and even fifties.

This isn't unusual in Japan-it all ties in with the (very difficult it would seem to Brits) complex culture of family. There is no carting grandma off to a nursing home once she reaches retirment age. Instead, both she and grandpa will be sticking around to bunk in with the newborns, toddlers and teenagers.

It's an admirable concept, especially when you see the strong bond Japanese children have with their grandparents and the level of care families take of one another.

However, generally speaking, British culture is too throwaway, too used to its privelages and, above all, far too self-centred to keep every family member close to its bosom and still maintain the immense respect the Japanese seem to have for their relatives.

Although putting elderley parents in nursing homes is not a shootable offense by any means and is a very real necessity for a lot of families, the Japanese rarely blame a busy, stress-filled lifestyle on them not being able to put their parents up.

Japanese men and women work harder and with much more conviction invested in their employers than the British. Also, contrary to belief, mothers are increasingly (although slowly) breaking away from the tradition of staying at home, and therefore, are not there all day to care for elderly relatives once their children reach school age.

So, how do the Japanese manage it? This is where the vast difference between life expectancy in Britain and Japan tips the balance significantly.

Despite the heavy drinking, smoking and fast-food guzzling apparent on a daily basis, the Japanese elderley are still infinetely more healthy and far less ailment-dogged than their British counterparts. Though life expectancy between the UK and Japan is not so different (77 compared to 80.7), the disease rate is higher. Japan has one of the lowest heart disease rates in the world, whereas Britain has one of the highest.

Therefore, the fact that older Japanese people have fewer ailments or diseases than their British counterparts, they are at the advantage that, aged fifty or more, its still very viable for them to entertain and care for their grandchildren without too many physical barriers.

So, collectively, families still manage to juggle the massive amount of pressure involved in several generations living under one roof. Perhaps the largest pressure, in a country where lack of living space is a big issue, is privacy (hence the popularity of love hotels among teenagers and all-nighters and capsule hotels among over-worked salarymen).

Despite physical closeness, Japanese families, as in every country in the world, are not necessarily emotionally close. To offer an example, (excluding names of course), a friend of mine who lives with both parents, siblings and grandparents has failed to tell any of them about her serious three-year relationship. Additionally, upon hearing her father announce to his family that his bosses demand he move to a city three hours away, my friend did not seem excessively upset about the situation.

Having several generations under one roof is a tradition involving many complex aspects, that the Japanese have inherted and one that us British people may find unthinkable and vice versa. Interesting stuff.

My apartment:in pictures

2008-03-07T17:40:00.000-08:00

It's time for my apartment to have it's second inspection (for new people to move into when I leave) it must be clean. It must be spotless. No dust allowed. No holes in the floor or walls. No marks on the bright white wallpaper. No mould on the curtains or in the corners. Two knives, two forks, to cups, two pairs of slippers-one for the balcony, one for the interior. No broken stuff. No cloudy bathroom mirrors. Three weeks and counting...tick tock......

Japanese Immigration

2008-03-07T17:03:00.000-08:00

When I came to Japan, my company took care of all the "science bits", ie, sorting out my apartment, giving me a timetable and permanent work hours, and, most importantly, my VISA....Upon arrival, I was held at a desk at Fukuoka airport customs for about 20 minutes or so, maybe longer, as some chap had left my suitcase on a trolley for me to find-good, really, after a long flight. Then, once I moved to Kokura and was put up in a hotel while our predecessors finished the last ten days of their contracts, I had to go to Kokura Ward office (kind of like registering a Visa) and apply for my "Alien registration card" or "Gaijin card". Both names are equally horrible, but there it is. It contains all of the technical details of my year long stay condensed into one small credit card sized nugget, for ease of being checked by whoever feels like asking me for it. Anyway, people who come out and work for the company are issued with a year long Visa, BUT our contract ends nine days after the Visa expires.

Maybe this is all because it's unecessary and difficult to get a three year Visa for newcomers, but also because the school year ends on March 31st, so we have to work until then. However, this leaves employees with the task of getting an extension on their Visa for the sake of nine days-so, the company do all this for you, give you the forms and tell you to visit the Immigration office and apply for another year long Visa.
So, off I went to the Immigration office in Kokura, with all the forms filled in and my passport at the ready, etc... My friend had been the week before and walked in and out with no problems. However, when I went in they said "wrong form" and asked me to fill out another.

Then, they asked me to fill out another. However, this one had company details on which I couldn't possibly have known myself, such as annual earnings (Eek!) and number of employees in total!?!?! etc...

So, they said I'd have to get my company director to fill it in and come back. However, before they sent me away, the form I'd previously given them had most of the information on, but they had failed to even look twice at it. At one point, four men were gathered around, looking at my passport and my registration card (all having been photocopied several times, of course), and giggling to one another in a kind of superior way. Then, as I went to leave, one of them started to ask me questions which I knew by common sense he had no right to ask. I was frugal with my answers. I know my rights, mister!
"Why are you leaving your company?" Because my contract will expire.
"Did your company ened your contract?" No, I did.
"Why are you not staying with your job?" Because that's what I decided.
"Are you going back to England?" Eventually.

Then I walked out, because I knew there shouldn't have been all of those other men gathered around (slow day at the office) and question man was being intentionally awkward.

Well, my company director lady, Satch', got a call from them as they needed the information on the form, and the next morning, she decided to come with me in case anything else went wrong.
The minute we walked in, it was all poker-straight backs and bowing and "Sumi masen, sumi masen" politeness, as she signed my form and got nothing but ultra over-polite feedback at every turn (typical of Japanese service...usually).

Anyway, my friend applied at later using the same forms in a different city and said they didn't make a big issue of knowing the company details (but the immigration man was initially very moody). My other friend got his Visa fine. Four weeks on, I still have no Visa extension. I've had no letter, phonecall or photo tell me to pick it up. In 14 days, I will be illegally on Japanese soil, so I think they should really get a move on. Will I be arrested, questioned and deported?!?!? Tune in to the "Immigration and Away" soap opera for the next installment of this suspense-filled saga!

PS) I applied for a Chinese Visa (for my journey home-wahoo!) on Monday morning and it arrived in my apartment last night after work by special delivery. That's FIVE days, Japan. Sort it out...

A Sad Day For Kokura

2008-02-29T19:38:00.000-08:00

He went missing for a while, then I found the grim evidence....

I think he knew I was leaving, and rather than fly free into the world without his Scouse companion, sacrificed himself as a nutrient for my plants. Cheers, Stuart, you were good company....even though you moved about twice during the whole year.

Stupid Japanese Dogs

2008-02-29T19:14:00.000-08:00

And again...this time spotted tied up outside Nishijin station, Fukuoka.

Nagasaki Lantern Festival-February 2007.

2008-02-26T20:13:00.001-08:00

"Stupid Dogs" opinion strengthened by further photographic evidence.

2008-02-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

Involunatry Surrender To The Chick Flick Cliche...

2008-02-15T07:42:00.000-08:00

I have just watched a film based on a book I read about a year ago, "The Jane Austen Book Club"by Karen Joy Fowler. At the time, I read it and remember being slightly disappointed by the lack of events. Maybe I just didn't think hard enough about the characters lives in relation to Austen's heroines, I don't know...but I seem to remember having a stack of other books to read at the time, so I let it go.

HOWEVERRRRRrrrr, tonight I got home, (Friday), needed something to watch while eating dinner and keeping my mind off booze, so I clicked on it out of curiosity and ended up watching the whole thing, from start to finish.

At first I was angry that it was set in America and featured Starbucks portable flasks. Also, all of the characters are shoelace-skinny and don blindingly white teeth and shiny, healthy hair. However, I found myself grinning like an idiot when the happy ending kicked in and everyone lived happily ever after.

Everybody knows nothing REALLY ends like that outside the perimeters of a TV screen-in real life, disappointment is the only thing you can ever really be sure of, and, even if people do manage to bag their love interest, the 'interesting' element slowly fades away, as they come home one day and catch their ideal person in their pants with a playstation joypad balanced on a can of beer two centientres from the TV screen. Girl films, eh? I fall for them every time. That reminds me, must watch Bridget Jones when I get back to UK...

Snow in Kitakyushu

2008-02-13T21:59:00.000-08:00

Today I had to get up early for (what I thought was my last ever at this place, but later turned out to be penultimate...grrr!) seika I have every three weeks in some small countryside town. I have to be at the station for 8:50am (not early by general standards, but I think of myself as a martyr if I have to get up before eight).

One bowl-sized coffee later, I glanced out of my balcony door and noticed I couldn't see beyond the rail, as there was a thick flurry of SNOW dancing around outside. I love snow, so that really picked up my day. So, I swapped my flimsy dolly shoes for my trusty old friends, Mr Doc and Mr Marten and went outside to build a snowman.

Unfortunately, I remembered that I'm actually 24 and had to go to work, but I did get to enjoy the snow on the way. My gloves got soaked and my hands seemed to disappear with the numbness, but it was BEAUTIFUL!!! Check out these photos I took on the way, they remind me of Narnia, especially the one of Kokura castle with the long path flanked by old style lampposts. There is nothing quite like snow, I'm glad I got to see some this year.

Just something I wanted to share with somebody.

2008-02-13T13:37:00.000-08:00

I can honestly say that the two half hour lessons I just taught had absolutely no educational value whatsoever. Got to go, have to be back in work for the afternoon shift.

Goodbye Gifts.

2008-02-12T22:59:00.000-08:00

Today, I did my last ever seika at a kindergarten not far from here at which i teach on Tuesday's. It's not THAT hard a day, and even better with no seika, but at first, I have to say, I wasn't too fond of the place at all. However, now things seem easier (for many reasons), I felt bad today when I taught my last seika there, and regretted every time I ever moaned about the kindergarten.
I teach the older kids mainly, those who are about to leave kindergarten to go to Elementary school, or who are in their second year of kindergarten, (five and six year old). When we finish seika, we usually go into a little room and get given some green tea and a lunchbox (bento) by the head teachers before starting lessons. However, the teachers asked my partner teacher and I to go into the main hall as the students had something arranged.
We went in and most of the second and final year kindergarten kids were sitting in lines (eeek!) and they said "Thank you very much", and some of them stood up and gave us a big bunch of flowers each, a book of drawings the kids had done of us, and paper mache models of traditional girls day Japanese dolls. I was really touched, but even moreso by the kids on the way out who were told to say goodbye to us. Some of the little shy ones approached, staring at the floor and, not knowing what to say, just threw their arms around my waist and scuttled away again.

PAPER MACHE HINA DOLLS, PICTURE BOOK AND FLOWERS.

One of my fellow teachers who was sent to watch me that day said they would have been crying had the same thing happened to them. Hey, ho! No need to be sad- just look at these pictures they drew of me (cast thine eyes downwards). The fact that I wore mostly black for the whole year but they all drew me in rainbow jumpers and with orange hair makes me happier than anything.

(Top left) One of my regular students, Chito's, effort. (Right) I love the pink flying loaf of bread.

Happy or mentally unstable? I hope the colours signify all the joy I spread...hahahaaaaa, (Left).
Note: crazed expression and police cars...surely the way I'll go! (Right).

Girls Day and Boys Day, Japan.

2008-02-12T08:34:00.000-08:00

"Hina matsuri" or "Doll's Festival" is held on March 3rd. l dedicated to little girls and people pray for their happiness and healthy growth. It's also sometimes called "Momo no sekku" or "Peach Festival" because the blossoms are due to bloom around the same time (the cherry blossom festils "hanami" come later in the month and is the best chance to party in Japan all year). For the oys, the Japanese have "Boy's day" or "Kodomo no hi" on May 5th, and, instead of dolls, people hang up windsocks with pictures of coi carp painted on them. Unfortunately, Boys day is a holiday but Hina Matsuri isn't, which means I will miss that particular day off work:(

Most families with girls and kindergartens and even public spaces, such as shopping centres, put up tiered displays called "hina-ningyo" (special dolls for Hinamatsuri) and dedicate peach blossoms to them. They are usually arranged on a five or seven-tiered stand covered with a red carpet. At the top are the Emperor and Empress. The next step contains three court ladies (sannin-kanjo), followed by five musicians (gonin-bayashi), two ministers (udaijin and sadaijin), and three servants ending the bottom row in a five-tiered display. There are also small pieces of furniture, small meal dishes, and other little items.

Before I knew what these displays were for, I was in Toys R' Us and saw all of these (I'm sorry to say...) mostly tacky and plastic-looking dispays, ( kind of plastic stairs with dolls on each one), saw the 500 quid or more price tags and wondered what they were. Now I know they're for the little girls, it seems like a nice gesture, really. Take that, doll festival cynics!

More about Hiroshima...(minus the B-word).

2008-01-28T04:29:00.000-08:00

On my first (and only, really) full day in Hiroshima, I wanted to get up early and go to Miyajima shrine on an island off the coast of the city, supposedly one of the top five most picturesque places in Japan. However, it was also a holiday (because of "coming of age day"-see below!) therefore, I had images of families and tourists with cameras constantly glued to their faces, and trying to be much more impressed than they actually were in the midst of a holidaying crowd. So, I decided to try and see more of central Hiroshima, and went to the Peace Museum and park, then shopping on the main street, then up to Hiroshima-Jo (castle). The city also has a contemporary art gallery and surrounding park which sounds great, but is closed on Mondays! Score.

So, off I went on the hunt for some Okonomiyaki and Momiji manju (See first post on Hiroshima...) got that nicely sorted out, then went along to ZARA and bought a thick coat in the sales for my trip home through Russia this April.

There are so many places to shop in Hiroshima, Sogo, the big department store which also has a massive branch in Shinsaibashi, Osaka. There is also a big designer strip along Aioi Dori for those with Chanel/Louis Vuitton penchants. Attracting a younger and trendier crowd is Parco, a massive hard to miss department store on the major street of Chuo-Dori (just off Aioi Dori).

As well as affordable stuff, Parco is the place for semi-expensive designer boutiques. Note to anoyone interested-it has an Anna Sui outlet which sells clothes, jewelry, make up, evening dresses and bags...It was hard to leave without anything, but the prices are well above my crumbly wallet.

For those lookng for something a bit more individual and low-key, there is also a 300 Yen shop in the arcade on the approach from the peace park up towards the Parco department store. It's basically better than the 100 Yen shop, though concentrates more on accessories and furniture, etc... By the Parco department store itself, down a little side street there is a vintage shop, which seem to be quite hard to find here. This shop is amazing, I bought a skirt for 300 Yen and they had loads of old shirts and belts, bags and jackets for next to nothing. Recommended!

Overall, in terms of shopping, Hiroshima is a haven for foreigners living in smaller cities, as it has a lot of things you may miss from the West, but isn't too big a place for a swift visit, unlike Osaka or Tokyo. You can find shops like Zara or designer stuff (should you want it), go to a baseball game, get some homely fare from the specialist deli's or restaurants selling jam and olives and hard-to-come-by products, etc...

Something else which is individual to itself is that Hiroshima has never adopted a subway system like most major Japanese cities, but rather, still operates on it's old streetcars (like trams in the UK). I couldn't decide whether this was a good or bad thing in general, as it's so cheap to get around, (150 Yen for most single journeys), but the stops are old and clapped-out and it's almost impossible to get a seat as they're always so crowded. Plus, as if the wide American-style Japanese crossings weren't hard enough to cross, you have to wait for two seperate types of transport to stop before you can walk. Not good for the patience...

After the harsh bustle of a National holiday afternoon, Hiroshima castle, just North of the brightly lit traffic-dogged Aioi Dori, is a serene place to go for a wander. I went in the late afternoon and caught the sunset, which the skinny, distorted trees are so well-suited to there, playing with the light and shadows. The trees really are something special in the castle grounds, most of them are slim and spindly with really old interesting, twisting bark. A dream come true for a frottage fan.

The bridge leading into the shrine and eventually, the gardens of the castle, is like something from a picture book, and definetly the kind of thing embedded into a tourists head when they first come out here to explore. Those people who want to see the geishas and tea houses but find that these images are gradually become stereotypes-part of traditional, rather than everyday culture. But, old Japan is easily found, especially when you're not trying to hunt it down.

On the approach to Hiroshima castle (which stands on a hill surrounded by thin patches of trees) there is a major local shrine, which was an hour away from its 'sagichoo' as I was on the way out of the gates. This is when all of the good luck charms (mostly arrows wrapped in gold/decorated paper) from last year are burned ceremoniously to see out the old, ward off bad luck demons and bring in good luck for the coming year.

Each shrine burns the charms returned by people around this week, and these fires pretty much mark the end of the New Year festivities. I'll bet the fires also look great too...

Another really interesting event here, which I accidentally came across the weekend I visited Hiroshima, was 'coming-of-age day'. This is usually in January of each year and it celebrates young girls and boys becoming adults (aged 20, old enough to vote, drink etc...). At this particular time, all of the people in the country who reach the age of 20 that same year dress in full kimono and go to their local city hall for a ceremony.

I got to see a lot of girls in kimono and boys in suits (with their sharp, blonde-dyed Bowie-circa-Labyrinth mullets) in both Kokura and Hiroshima, which was really nice as they all look really proud-the Japanese seem to like a good old special occasion to dress up. I accidentally snapped one of the girls in a photo in the castle garden (left). Usually, they wear a fur collar as it's winter, but her dad was holding hers for her.

Unfortunately, the next day was not a holiday, which meant I had to go back on the shinkansen to Kokura. The price for a ticket from Kokura to Hiroshima is 13,000 Yen (about 65 quid) for an hours journey, so it would have been worth it to stay on if it wasn't for work..

However, I got to see the station area at night on my way back, which was nice as the moon was at a crescent, the clouds were stuttered, making for a great view on my leaving.

Stuart the green shield beetle update.

2008-01-18T19:01:00.000-08:00

Stuart decided to hide in a soggy reciept which I had left next to some flowers in my hallway. When I tried to scrunch the reciept, (how was I to know where he was?) he got REALLY angry and fell out with his wings beating violently. It turns out he makes a really nasty buzzing noise when he's upset, and he flew onto the top of the window frame and has been there for about a week now. He's sulking and won't go back on the plant I put there.

Oh, here's the picture I took when he first appeard on my balcony in summer (June/July maybe), 2007.

Stuart!

Dazaifu, Fukuoka.

2008-01-18T18:20:00.000-08:00

Feeling that "I'm leaving Japan soon...ahhhgg!" pressure again, I decided to take a day trip to Dazaifu, about half an hour out of Tenjin, Fukuoka, by train. It's one of the country's most famous and treasured temple grounds as it contains a shrine and lots of historical sites.

I got on the train and connected using another, and arrived in the little city. I was pleased by how busy it was, the first few days of New Year see millions of people across Japan going to shrines and saying a little blessing for the year ahead. Dazaifu seems to be a good and very popular place to do it.

When I arrived, I walked up a street full of shops and restaurants, selling hot Sakura (cherry blossom) tea and sweet bean paste cakes. Then, at the top there was a shrine gate and a bridge, not far from the museum.

The bridge lead to the shrine, which was a big, very beautiful building with a queue of people waiting outside to recieve a prayer from the monks inside. The people who were already in had lined up their little shoes neatly outside...

Again, I came across a monkey show, which I'll discuss in a different post, as it's happened before, unfortunately in Kokura's shopping mall "Cha Cha Town". Anyway, here's a nice photo of the actual shrine instead...

After seeing the shrine and the things clustered around the station area, I decided to walk on further through Dazaifu town and have a look at the other things on the map, such as an old Ordiantion hall where monks used to be recruited, and the actal ruins of the government office of Dazaifu. The old ordination hall had a shrine next to it, which looked great as the sun sank lower between the trees.

The actual hall was a lovely patch of ground, with some top gardening skills surrounding the building to show it off. It had a lovely, peaceful feeling to it and made me see why you might want to abandon the everyday for a serene, more simple life. Although maybe not as a monk- my cheekbones couldn't take the presure of a shaved head...

A few metres down the road are the ruins of Dazaifu itself, the name given to the actual administration office of the whole of Kyushu. This must have been a really powerful seat with a lot of responsibility packed into one space, but all that remains now are some foundation stones, a museum displaying items found during excavations, and a beautiful park, in which families play football, hurl frisbees and walk their tiny, stupid dogs.

The trees surrounding the park were a real sight after spending a year without much countryside, staring everyday out of accelerating train windows at tightly-packed beige coloured apartment blocks straddled by multitudes of thick overhead cables.

Further on down the road there is another final ground of interest, Mizuki, which is...

However, it was getting dark by that point and there was a railway station by the Dazaifu ground, so I decided to come back before I leave and see it on my second visit. I went back to Tenjin, then Hakata on the subway, then Kokura on the Sonic, grabbing some Raamen on the way.

Dazaifu is the place to go when the city gets too much, you're in need of a bit of reflection, or if you simply want to take some stunning photos and memories back home.

Japan and Dogs.

2008-01-18T17:29:00.000-08:00

Dogs are big business here, due to the "cute" obsession seemingly built into the Japanese psyche. But, not dogs as you and I know them, big slobbering golden retrievers or greyhounds limping through streets whizzing on lampposts, but dogs which look like rats dressed as princesses, proudly twinkling down the street with dog clothes on, ribbons in their hair, and YES, sunglasses, even!

There are hardly any stray dogs here, though stray cats are a very common occurence, and people seem to take an unflinching pride in their tiny dogs and carry them around in small custom made doggy bags. The more expensive the dog, and the bag and the accessiories, the better, it seems. And then there's the phenomena of dog beauty parlours, where they dog gets groomed and clipped and treated like a king while the owner does a bit of shopping around the mall. If you come across owners who tick all of these boxes, more often than not, their nose is firmly in the air. They KNOW how elite they look.

This penchant for tiny dogs is probably, on the surface quite a nice thing, a novelty for passers by and a lot of fun for kids. However, it's actually quite a cruel thing when you look a bit deeper, as having one (or commonly, more than one) of these dogs scampering ahead of you says a lot about your image. It's expensive to buy these dogs, and even more expensive to kit it out with accessories (the latest, designer), and also to keep it as well groomed as some people seem to do here. If you come across one of the worst offenders on the street, a perfumed, ribboned, combed little chiuhaua, people will stop and swoon/take a photo. However, if a smelly old half-dead mongrel emerged from an alleyway, it wouldn't raise a second look from the same crowd. So, as a lot of things conclude here, it's not about the dog at all, but how high it comes on the KAWAII!! (cuuute!) scale, not to mention the suggestion of the expense adding to the owners image...

Here is a photo I took at New Year in a holy temple ground, Dazaifu, which sees millions of visitors in the New Year. This woman obviously wanted to be seen, else she would have taken her pack of fluffy cloudy dogs to a quiet forest for a walk....

Unfortunately, they got into a scuffle with another tiny dog in a tartan coat, and she ended up tangled up in dog leads and looking like a bit of a clown...talk about backfiring.

27 Hours in Hiroshima

2008-01-15T05:01:00.000-08:00

Looking at a monochrome aerial map of Hiroshima, it seemed to me to resemble a piece of rough beef marbled with white veins of fat, rivers winding downwards out to sea like thickening white arteries. A big piece of rare, bloody meat.

Halfway through the Atom Bomb museum, there's a small corridor to lead you to the rest of the building. On the right there is a counter selling Hiroshima souvenirs. I saw a white T-shirt with the words "THE A-BOMB DOME!" emblazoned on it in a playful font.

I bought some okonomiyaki, made with cabbage in Hiroshima, and the local sweet, Momiji manju, a little cake in the shape of a maple leaf, which is Hiroshima's city symbol. Momiji Manju are GORGEOUS, as they contain ANCO, a sweet paste made from little red beans, which is also in my top favourite Japanese cakes...DORIAKI!!! Mmmmmmmmmmmm....

On the first night I found the only Irish bar in Hiroshima, which is the best one I've come across in Japan yet,"Molly Malone's". Apparently, everything was shipped over from Ireland in order to get the decoration right-even the painters came over to finish the murals on the walls. Most importantly, for me, who hasn't had a roast dinner/sausage/pie for almost a year, it had ... BANGERS AND MASH on the menu!!! How could I resist??? I also had a Magner's cider (doesn't hold a candle to Strongbow Super Strength though), and half a Guinness. And I mean half, not three quarters which seems to be the norm here...

Oh yes, Hiroshima was good.

Japanese New Year

2008-01-10T05:21:00.000-08:00

After spending the last few days of 2007 in Osaka, seeing the New Year in at the top of Osaka's Umeda building (I do like a good view...though it was FREEZING...) I said a very miserable goodbye to my boyfriend, who had to go back to the UK from Kansai airport, then I decided to brave the train crowds and get on the shinkansen back to Kokura. I wanted to see how the Japanese typically spend New Year, which doesn't normally involve big cities, but going back to the smaller towns people may have grown up in.

So, back in Kokura, after standing up for two and a half hours on the shinkansen, minus a boyfriend with a week off work but no money on the horizon, I was feeling pretty miserable. (In retrospect, though I was so close to leaving, the week following this was one of the hardest stretches I had in Japan. You know what they say about so close to the finish line, yet so far...)

Anyway, as I stepped off the train and down the big, unusually deserted steps of Kokura Station, (did I was miserable...?) when I felt a really cold feathery drop hit me in the eye-SNOW! Snow has always had a great effect on my spirits. Maybe it's because I was born in the winter in a pretty small, snowy countryside town, or maybe it's because my first memory was my dad taking me out into the snow. Either way, it cheered me up and made me feel like I wouldn't be missing out by staying home alone that night.

Kokura was weirdly quiet on the walk back-New Year is the only time that things really truly close down across the country. It felt strange, as Japan is normally such a fast paced place. But it was also a nice anomaly to experience. The rest of that day, I settled back into my apartment, unpacked, and checked my boyfriend's flight progress on the internet...nerdy, much?

That night, some people I worked with were still around and we went to a 'Little Chef'-style roadside diner called 'Royal Host' for dinner and stayed chatting until after midnight.

This was nice, but I ate a bowl of noodles with some DISGUSTING excuse of a reconstituted pork steak lumped on top. It made me feel constantly like I was going to chuck up through the night, so, I do not recommend Royal Host, Ringer Hut, Volka, Joyful, or those other mock-Western, half-arsed places in Japan. If you want decent food in Japan, eat Japanese, (food, not people). It's as simple as that.

On January 2nd, I decided to go to the really beautiful shrine next to Riverwalk shopping centre and see in the New Year Japanese style. Things hadn't gone extremely well so far, so I thought maybe a Buddhist blessing would give me an untouchable security bubble to live in for the rest of the year. After all, with the big move back to the UK and six the weeks of travelling I had planned, I really needed the luck and safety.

So, I went to the shrine. Aah...

So peaceful and picturesque, considering it's flanked by main roads on all sides, and a massive shopping mall and car park.

The Japanese New Year tradition goes something like this. Japanese mothers (who still, traditionally, cook) prepare a few days worth of food, kind of like a bento with vegetables, etc.. which is likely to keep well. The family then live on this and laze around together for a few days, many going back to their family homes, if they don't already live with their parents and grandparents.

'Mochi' (steamed rice that has been pounded and formed into cakes) is in abundance at New Year, as are public mochi-pounding cook-ups, where you can watch it being made and then offered to the Gods. I had a kind of love-hate relationship wih mochi throuhout the year- it's exceptionally chewy (many elderly people die every year by choking on it...) and, as it's basically glutionous part of the rice, gives me bad heartburn. You can eat it as a sweet, however (with strawberries or anco bean paste in the middle...gorgeous!) or you can eat it in soup (not so great...) People also grill it at New Year and eat it in a special soup, known as 'Ozoni'.

The home is an imporant hub at New Year, and one of the things some of my work colleagues told me about was the intense cleaning which goes on before the bells toll. Japanese people believe no baggage should be carried over into January, therefore they hold 'Bonnenkai', or 'forgetting the year' parties in the workplace (kind of like the typical English 'photocopy your arse office party', but even better because everbody had to forget it afterwards, ahah) and also try their best to wrap up all of their business affairs and debts in time for January 1st.

Families make offerings to keep their household Gods happy, also. Some of the foods they offer up on small tables include dred fish (seabream, shrimps,cuttlefish) mochi, dried persimmons, sardines, herring roe, cray fish, sea-bream, dried chestnuts, pine seeds, black peas, dried cuttlefish, 'Mochibana', or flowers made of rice and straw, mandarin oranges, and many other items varying from district to district. 'Otoso', a thick rice wine is also traditionally serve around this time.

Within the first four days of the January, millions of families visit shrines to bless themsleves and offer things to God's for the New Year.

The 'Shimenawa' (rope) and the 'kadomatsu' (pine decorations) are important adornments. The shimenawa is a sacred rope made of straw on which zig-zag strips of paper have been hung, which is placed above the front entrance of Torii (the arch entrances to Shinto shrines)/ buildings/homes/shrines to prevent "evil spirits" from entering. The two weeks (or one week in Tokyo) during which these decorations are hung is referred to as 'matsunouchi'.

Another thing which you commonly find around shrines and generally anywhere and everywhere are small white papers tied to tree branches. These are called 'Omikuji', or fortunes/prayers which people write/choose from on long thin pieces of paper, read then tie to tree branches in the hope that their prayers will be answered.

Another important thing worth mentioning is that every year, people buy charms in the form of arrows from their local shrine (which cost around a tenner, or 2,000 Yen), to give them good luck for the year. Then, at the end of the year, they return these arrows to the shrine and buy new ones. In february, the old ones are burnt on large bonfires to officially end the New Year celebrations. here are some of the arrows collected by my local shrine in Kokura...

Some of the busiest places in the country include Tokyo Meiji shrine (7 million visitors during the first few days of NY) and also Fukuoka's Dazaifu temple ground. I decided to visit Dazaifu, which needed a whole post of its own, so do have a browse at that post if all of this New Year stuff has grabbed your attention.

I went to the shrine next to Kokura castle and there I followed other people and said a little good luck prayer for the year ahead. I've attached a video I took, showing how the New Year prayer works. Basically, it involves washing your hands in a freshwater font with a long handled square spoon, bowing in front of the temple, clapping you hands, yanking a rope so a bell rings, clapping your hands again, praying, making your wish, bowing then sodding off again to knuckle down and stick out your year.

The Japanese also send postcards 'nengajo' with traditional pictures and New Years Greetings to friends and colleagues- I sent and received a few, just for good karma.

In February, I was running out of weekends left in Japan and decided to finally make the trip to Hiroshima. I went around the 14th/16th and therefore caught a great ceremony which officially ends the New Year celebrations. 'Setsubun', is when shrines compile all of the good luck charms returned to them at New Year, stack them onto a pyre and burn them in public.

I caught the burn up at 'Hiroshima Gokoku Jinja' (the city's busiest shrine), which is just next to the gorgeous Hiroshima Castle. It was, understandably, bustling with people taking photos, dressed in kimono and worshipping at the time.

Anyway, being one of the three weeks the Japanese are guaranteed to get off work per year and, unlike most holidays, bringing the mighty Japanese work ethic to a grinding halt, I thought it was a major thing to think on while I was there. Not a part of my year away which I will forget easily, and was really interesting to outside eyes.

PS.) I walked out of the temple down the side of the shopping mall where my bike was parked for TWENTY MINUTES while I visited the shrine, only to find it had BEEN NICKED!!! For the SECOND TIME in TWO MONTHS!!! AAAH!!! Maybe this serves me right for butting into a Buddhist celeration when I'm not a Buddhist...maybe Karma does work afterall.

The culprit, frequently ransacked bike park, outside Riverwalk Mall, Kokura.

Old Japanese guys and young foreign girls.

2008-01-04T19:05:00.000-08:00

Now I'm on holiday (which seems to have gone before it even started), I think it'S abot time I related the details of a rather strange friendship I struck up not so long ago in Japan (no, not Stuart the green shield beetle).
In October, I started going to Fukuoka a lot more, as on weekends it'S only 3,000 Yen day return on the shinkansen and the shops/nightlife/scenery is much better in Fukuoka than in Kokura. So there I was one Saturday afternoon on the shinkansen when an elderley gent walking throught the aisles stopped at my row and asked if he could sit next to me. "dozo.."
Anyway, after a few seconds I knew he was going to attempt to talk to me, because he kept looking towards me messing with my Ipod, then turning away again. Finally, he struck up a chat and preceeded every question with...
"I'm sorry, can I ask you personal question?"
"Yeah, of course!
"Do you like the... Japanese food?"/"How long you been Japan?"/ "Do you enjoy the Japanese culture?"

Highly personal questions! He seemed like a very polite old chap anyway, so I chatted away. As the train pulled into Fukuoka, he recommended shrines and places to see in Japan which I may like, and, as I alwasy tend to do when I meet new faces, I gave him my Email address and wandered off into the crowds of Hakata station.

This slipped my mind until, quite soon afterwards I got an Email from the guy, (I shant put his name up but will hereby refer to him as 'the doc'), asking me if I wanted to go to a famous shrine about an hour out of Fukuoka city. He would DRIVE and we would go to a nice tradtional restaurant afterwards so I could enjoy Japanese culture.

Hmm. How weird would that be at home? I can see the cogs turning in your minds already-an old perv? A guy who wants to be seen with a young girl? I wasn't sure. All I kneww was that I didn't have long left in Japan and that I wanted to start enjoying my last few months more. I DID want more Japanese friends who could show me these things, and I did want to see shrines and temples. However, I certainly did not want to get in a strangers car (flashbacks of childhood). Even through adulthood, it's funny how the warnings of your folks and one-day school visitiors harping on about strangers stay with you.

So, Double-C agreed to come with me. Ah, Double-C, my old missus. She has a similar old friend, who is also an elderly gent who seems to have a lot of leisure time and enjoys socialising, particualrly with westereners. However, her wrinkly 'sugar daddy' is different-they meet in neutral places, like bars and restaurants and always with other people. To cut a long story short (actually, it's fully related in my "shrines, squid..." post), we went and it was a lovely day. He told us his wife had died a long time ago, he had gron daughters ad sons (one of which works in the nearby uni) and that he was...SEVENTY THREE! Folks, you would not believe he was 73 if you saw him...I guessed around 60 at first. How do the Japanese do it? I advise you to start eating fish and rice ASAP.

However, a few things disturb me about the Doc. One is that he never seems to want to met casually for a chat. He alwasy wants to be completely in control of the situation. he wants to meet early, drive us everywhere and pay for things. I don't like not being in control of what I do, and I don't like people paying for me.

At this point, I'm (rather cruelly-but this is amongst friends, right?) going to cut and paste some Emails he sent me just before Christmas.Bear in mind he is using "Engrish" and it isn't even his first language...

"My dear Denise and Claire Hello!
This is from a quack ranging in Fukuoka, you know. I'm very glad you remember me and you give memost kind and heart warming comment about my medical paper. Actually, and also glad to hear that you enjoyeda day-tour for Shrine at that time including squid plates. I don't exactly know what you are doingon ordinary holiday. I spend my leisure time for mostly travelling once or twice in a month for joining forsome medical seminar or just for enjoying the travel itself. So, I'd like to ask you if you do mind staying inthe ordinary triple beds room in the hotel with me. If you don't mind staying with me in the same room inthe hotel, I could take you anywhere you like in Japan with only the air-fare on you. Any other miscellaneouscost which incurs for travel, like meal service, rent-a-car, hotel stay cost and any other expences mustbe on me. For example, you could enjoy two days tour for snowy Sapporo in Hokkaidou with only the air-fareroughly 37,000-yen for R.T. for each on you. How do you find it? I hope you and Claire could have the same off-time for a travel with me. And if you could, I would like to make an arrangement for somewhereeven in next December. Actually, I am planning to go to Tokyou for joining some medical seminar nextSaturday. If you follow me such a time , you can enjoy a whole day long for shopping and any other thingstrolling the downtown while I am in the seminar. If you don't like such a behavior, just forget it. Bye!"

Oh dear! "If you don't like such a behaviour..." See what I mean about pushiness? "Just forget it, bye!"
I declined gracefully and then he sent me this...

"My dear Denise and Claire,
This is another suggestion for you. I'm going to visit Beijin in China joining some tour groupvisiting sight-seeing spots including ' The Great Wall' from December 30th to January 2nd.The tour costs 129,800yen per capita. If you'd like to join this tour and not mind to stay inthe same room in the hotel with me, I would subsidize a half of the total cost of it for you.If you'd like to accept this suggestion, please contact me as soon as possible, becauseI have to make a reservation of the tour for you quickly."

Hehe. I also, gracefully declined and told him we were leaving in April so mst save for the trip home.

"My dear Denise and Claire,
Thank you very much for your quick reply mail. Your mail of this time reminds me two matterswith something sad feelngs. First one is an old English movie titled ' Brief Encouter ', a marriedwoman falls in love with a young guy met in a commuter train and then separated for somereason. Second one is an old Japanese adage saying ' Encounter is the beginning of leaving'.I don't know how many foreigners living in this area Fukuoka, and also don't know how manyof them I could encouter to by any chance. I have seen so many foreigners living for manyyears in this area and some of them for several tens of years, so I have never imaginedyou go back home within so short lapse of time. But come to think of it, it's quite naturalthat you go back to your home country when time comes. How about you and Claire goingto travel somewhere with me? We could'nt have so many opportunities to go for travelhence in coming five months, so all of the cost of this time must completely be on me. Please don't worry about any expenses of you. Just be my guest. Only thing needed is your time. Makingan itinerary for it isn't hastened because there is roughly five months before you leave Japan. I would be very glad if you could tell me when and where you'dlike to go. I hope you could make and leave a lot of fantastic, fabulous and fascinating memories of Japan and also least of an old guy, too. Thank you."

Sniffle, sniffle. Doesn't seem so unusual or sinister now, does it?
What can you possibly make of this? Shall I meet up with the 'Doc again? Will it be like "Brief Encounter?" Hang on, in that film, Laura falls in extra-marital love with...with...with... a ...DOCTOR!!!! AAah! An interesting situation, opinions welcome.

Festive devastation.

2008-01-03T04:46:00.001-08:00

Aforementioned, much photographed, appreciated and swooned-over bicycle has just been nicked by some lousy gits AGAIN from the SAME PLACE as last time. Yeah, thanks a shedload Jesus, Happy New Year.

More...karaoke!

2008-01-01T09:08:00.000-08:00

I seem to remember renouncing it recently, but three times later, here I am again, Terence, me and a bunch of random people we grabbed from bar Scorpion in Shinsaibashi, Osaka to try the delights of Dotombori's Shidax branch of karaoke...aaahhhhhhhhhhh. Not again! By the way, thank you to Colette and Dad for the shirt, it's a good fit.

Osaka Aquarium

2008-01-01T02:57:00.000-08:00

Osaka aquarium is very cool.

Stuart the green shield beetle.

2007-12-31T23:49:00.000-08:00

Now I have six days off work (I've waited for that for ever, it seems) I will try and update some things from my summer as well as current stuff. One thing which I wouldn't want to forget is the appearance of Stuart, my pet beetle.

Before you go crazy, Mr.Landlord Matama, sir, it's not exactly a pet. In about June or July when the weather started hotting up I was out on my balcony one morning before work and I noticed a little insect sitting on my air-con pipe. I took a photo of it-it was a grass-green shield-shaped little chap and quite pretty really. Then, I bought some plants in the summer for about 100 Yen each (44p, hehe) and kept them on the balcony.

One plant is really pretty, with shiny silver leaves with a purple underside. I soon noticed that the beetle had moved onto one of the leaves of this plant and seemed to set up home there. And so our friendship began. Most days I'd pop out and have a little glance, and did the beetle move? No! In fact, it stayed in the SAME SPOT on the SAME LEAF until around November, when I brought the plants indoors as the temperature dropped.

Then, as he came inside he got restless and moved onto my kitchen floor, where he was when my boyfriend came to stay for a second time. Terry christened him "Stuart" and so he is today. We bought some flowers and made him move home again-he's still sitting on them now, despite them being long dead. I shall let you know what scrapes he gets into in the future...watch this space.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2007-12-31T23:07:00.000-08:00

New Year at the Umeda sky building, Osaka. Happy 2008!

The best of wishes to anyone who reads this.

Here's to a great year ahead.

A haircut in Kokura...

2007-12-29T23:13:00.000-08:00

...uh-oh, it's that time of the decade again, chop, chop! When it comes to my hair, I'm pretty nonchalant, as I am about a lot of things, and leave it to grow until I have more split ends than Tarzan after a bitch fight. Then, I decide I want something really different and these images of the perfect haircut kick in and I begin to daydream...

first comes a serious consultation with a professional salon owning semi-famous hair-cutting genious. Computer generated images of my head line the walls donning various haircuts, the slightly camp silk-shirted chopper standing over me and viewing my head from every angle before working out through cosmic vibes and telepathy exactly which haircut would be the most perfect my head was capable of sporting. The, he gingerly plucks some dainty scissors and minces around delicately before doing a "reveal" to a massive fanfare and applause. My hair, of course, looking as though it could start revolutions and take on anyone in a fight.

Does this perfect haircut exist? I haven't found it yet. I've been in Kokura or nine months now and I have had three haircuts, one for 5,000 Yen (25 quid...) and two from the same place which does a cut for 3,100 each time. So, I went back to the latter for the second time on Friday night, planning to leave for Osaka the next morning with a bonce of shiny, razor sharp hair.
Because the hairdressers I have been to so far always look so nervous about cutting my barnet, I took some pictures from the internet-nothing challenging-just a wispy, messy affair with a sultry fringe so I could get away with the "out of bed" look on a daily basis.

However, the salon shoved the guy who cut it last time towards me ("Eh up, special case just walked in, do it again will you, son?") and he looked mightily confused about the photos I had. In the end, he said "OK!" but then came back with a catalogue full of Japanese haircuts. This guy is a hairdresser and should know that Japanese hair is nothing like some Western hair-mine is too flouncy and thin, and Japanese women always get theirs thinned which looks good for them, but that kind of style on me would be mullet-city, and nobody wants to visit that place...

I'd just like to add that you get a top-notch run-up service here to your cut. As they wash your hair, they place a mask over your face, which, though freaky at first, is actually extremely relaxing and saves you the whole "So. What you up to tonight, then?" banter (although langauge barrier also helps on that front). Then, they massage your head as they wash your hair, and while you're getting a cut they pass you a killer telephone-directory thickness magazine to look through, unlike the old "OI! Keep your head still and look straight ahead!" syndrome back home.

Anyway, I just pointed at my pics again and the chap went in for the chop. I got pretty fed up at one point, as my bonce started to resemble a big, flat mushroom as he just wouldn't cut edges into it. Finally, I insisted he go shorter and get out the razor scissors, but it took a lot of cajoling.

Then, he ponced around trying to arrange it nicely on the crown of my head, brandishing the hairspray like the world was about to run out. I made a quick escape, left a tip and said "thanks", etc... but he then either said when I next come back to a.) Learn some Japanese (fair play to him, actually...) or bring a picture of a Japanese haircut!!! AAaaah! Talk about going around in a circle. So, an easy solution...no haircuts for me until Blighty I see!

Visiting Beppu.

2007-12-23T07:01:00.000-08:00

On Friday 21st December, Terry and I finally ventured to a part of Japan I've wanted to see even before I got here-the town of natural hot springs, Beppu. Because kyushu is a sub-tropical Island, it is host to several volcanoes and areas of natural spas and spring water. We went to Beppu, a resort on the way to Oita and not that far from mount Aso in central Kyushu.

When we arrived at Beppu station, there was a really good tourist information point (despite what I've heard about it being a very insular town) and the woman there spoke perfect English, was really helpful and recommended a good onsen. We got on a bus and went up towards the "hells"- the main tourist attractions which are pools there for looking at rather than bathing, as, being mosty between 90-100 degrees, they are far too hot for a dip.

To get into all eight Hells costs either 440 Yen each (about 1.60) or you could buy a pass for all of them for 2,000 Yen (about 10.00) . We got the pass and walked into the nearest hell, the "oniishibozu-jigoku" or "monks head hell" which is so called because it's clay rather than water, and the smooth bubbles which rise as each pool coughs up clay are said to look like the bald heads of monks. This was my favourite I think, take a look at the textures and colours of the bubbling pools...
The monks head hell also had a shallow circular

rock pool dotted with seats around the edges so tourists can sit with their feet in some natural spring water. It was a fairly cold day, and to feel the hot water simultaneously with the cold air was great, a new experience for me. When we put our socks back on, our feet felt really good and stayed warm and soft for at least an hour. "It's like walking on kittens". Thanks to Terence for the simile...

Next door to the monks head hell is "Umi jigoku" which is said to resemble the sea, and is a lovely vivid blue pond into which baskets of eggs were suspended to make the famous Beppu tamago (eggs). They are dunked then sold to tourists because of their distinctive, soft consistency. At this hell they also had boiling bright red pools, and fierce mounds of steaming rocks. It has a nice souvenir shop where we bought some bath salts and soaps made from salts from the blue pond.

The third hell we visited, "yama jigoku" or "mountain hell", was one with a mini-zoo attached. Aside from some bubbling, fiercely steaming rock mounds, there was no distinctive hell as such but we noticed nearby a drop over a wall with a small pond below. Suddenly there emerged the massive, wrinkled leathery head of a HIPPO protruding from the water.

When it saw us it propped its chops up against the wall and opened it's massive, slavering jowls. It's mouth was pink and gummy, it's big cushiony sides nursing a purple, hairy greedy tongue. Behind us we noticed a stall with little plates of cut potatoes perched on it, (an honesty box) and for 100 Yen you could have a plate to feed the hippo. Who could resist that? Unfortunately, there was also an elephant across the way locked in a small, stinking enclosure, swaying its head from side to side and looking completely depressed. I'll spare you the photo, I think.

After the zoo hell, we went into another which
was quite similar to the sea-like one, the "kamado jigoku" or "oven hell".
It's so called because local people once used it to cook their food.

The first thing you notice is a muddy, deep red clay pool and a large model of a red devil perched on a rock in the centre overlooking the little circular place.

The ponds were beautiful here too, with plenty of eggs in little metal bowls perched on rocks to cook. This one is also famous for it's white rocks and sulphur content, I got a snap of some of the gorgeous colours and textures of the rocks at the edge of the pool...

This hell also had a big area for visitors to buy eggs and also sit on wooden benches and immerse their feet in the milky blue waters as they chat. We decided to plod on, however, as our tickets said the hells all close up at around five O'Clock.

Next up was the "oniyama jigoku" or "monster mountain hell". The place is so naturally hot it creates the perfect environment for...a beach? No. A swimming pool? No! BREEDING CROCODILES, of course. Why this is, I don't know, but it's a good tourist spot as you can get quite close to them. They are fairly ugly articles, crocodiles, but it was cool to see some, as I'm

not even sure if i've ever seen any in person at all. Look at the skin on 'em, nice handbag
that...joookiiing....Don't take offence (the late) Mr.Irwin..

After the crocodiles, we went to see if we could walk to the other two hells, which are a little distance away from the five hells clustered around one another near Kannawa Bus stop.

Unfortunately, we walked the wrong way (I think...) and eventually gave up on finding them before it went dark. The maps we had didn't seem to be really accurate and as it's generally quite a local and run-down place aside from the hells, we had a bit of trouble with navigation. We did, however, end up on a steep walkway up towards Beppu castle and at least got a good view of the steaming cauldron of a city below...

Another reason we didn't persist in finding the last two hells was the enthusiasm we had for hunting down the onsen recommended to us at the Beppu Information desk. The "Hyosan onsen" was where the lady said we could get a private outdoor bath before showing us some gorgeous photos and drawing a map. So, on a mission for some baby-soft skin and the ultimate relaxing soak, we found the place easily enough and had our first ever hot spring!

We went in and the women who worked there showed us photos of four different private onsen. One had a waterfall (for massages and help with acheing joints) but we chose a cozy-looking outdoor one in the end. There is a vending machine with tokens for soap, shampoo, yukata, towels etc...so we bumbled about with that before being shown to a little wooden hut by the entrance to the building. For only 2,000 yen (again, around ten pounds) we had the room and bath to ourselves for an hour. It was AMAZING! There was a small room where you changed, then an outdoor area with a washing space.

The Japanese insist on washing BEFORE getting in an onsen, because the emphasis is not on cleaning, but relaxing in naturally hot water. However, I cheekily ignored the hair wash rule for the sake of a photo...

Taking the private outdoor bath was definetely one of the best things I have EVER done. The water was boiling hot (almost too hot for the first half hour) but cooled gradually. The lady who showed us in turned on a big old rickety tap and the small stone pool filled up right away with steaming, slightly salty water. Then, we undressed and washed, got on in and just floated away. We went at exactly the right time of evening, as during our hour there the sky began to darken and the air got colder, so we had the feeling of wintery air contrasting with the hot, deep bath as the little lanterns glowed in the dark.

I'd highly recommend this onsen to anyone who should visit Beppu in the future. You also get to keep the free little towels in their branded bags as souveniers. I'm not going to wash mine so it keeps it's spring water smell.After the onsen, it started to rain and we were having troubles finding Kannawa Bus Stop again, so we jumped in a taxi to Beppu station. There were a fair amount of bars in the arcades around the station, though they looked pretty local and quiet, so we just took a walk and got back on the sonic to Kokura. This was one of the best days I've ever had, and maybe even the best in Japan so far. I'll never forget it.

Wine and Cheese Party

2007-12-19T22:36:00.000-08:00

After thinking about it for a while, I decided to go ahead with a wine and cheese evening in my apartment last Friday night (14th). Japan is not renowned for it's array of breathtaking dairy products, so I thought that getting hold of decent cheese would be a task.

However, in the end I managed to find a good booze warehouse around the back of my apartment for some decent wine, and our local supermarket started selling better cheese last week (something to do with Christmas, maybe?)

We had baguettes, crackers, feta, (decent) red peppers, tomatoes, cheddar, camembert, brie, blue cheese, etc etc... but then everyone I invited actually came (brilliant!) and they brought so much quality stuff that we didn't run out of cheese until well after things had died down. Thanks to everyone for the cheese, olives, booze, presents, cards, it was brilliant! Christmas is going to be a non-event here, so I think it was good that everyone got together, even if just for a little while.

Unfortunately, I have a tooth infection which was at It's swollen, painful height last weekend and couldn't eat or drink anything at the party. Sod's law in full force. I still had a great time though.

This was my apartment on Thursday night when I moved all of my furniture out of the way ready for Friday to get some atmos' going on...

AAAaaand this was my apartment on Saturday morning.....

A great night, evidence!

Here's a shot of (some) of the sheer volume of cheese we accumulated betwen us...(unfortunately, my massive swollen face had to be concealed behind a cheese slice).

All work and no play makes a girl...

2007-12-10T16:18:00.001-08:00

...an inconsistent blogger.

Tsubasa, this is for you.

2007-12-07T06:48:00.000-08:00

Tsubasa,

You joined my English lessons around two months ago, in October 2007. You go to the same kindergarten that we rent rooms from and your Mum came with you to watch my lesson twice before you joined.

This kindergarten is my most difficult all week, in the countryside and very boisterous-boy-heavy with teachers who don't particularly believe in exerting discipline (bad for me-a former barmaid and student who has avoided schools like the plague since 16...).

Though new kids typically sign up in April, you and two other boys were late starters. You three are so talented that we opened a new class for you. You will never know how much optimism you give me that what I'm doing is having an impact...you are all so young and so much fun, so lively that I have to drink genki drinks and coffee before your class and stuff myself with slow-burning muesli in the morning just to keep up.

You three are so desperate for knowledge, I have never come across students like you before. But, sometimes, you are so vulnerable that I just want to hug you like a little brother.

Two weeks ago, Tsubasa, you made me laugh more than I have laughed since I arrived in Japan. There we were, me on a tiny chair in front of you, Ryo and Fuma, holding up a flashcard of a chair and saying "What is it?" Then, being really excited and happy as any little boy should be, you turned around to your classmate, Fuma, and kissed him right on the lips.

When I saw how angry he was, I couldn't contain my laughter. Why was he so angry? He's a little on the macho side, but Ryo, your other class mate, played up to Fuma's reaction and both boys moved their chairs to the other side of the room to show their anger and dissaproval.

However, today, two weeks later, Ryo also found the whole thing funny and tried to kiss Fuma too, just to piss him off. We were practicing the concept of "HE" and "SHE" and Fuma pointed at you and said "SHE".

Later on, when I asked you which sticker you wanted from a sheet, you proudly said "PINK HEART PLEASE!"

Tsubasa, you have made my fortnight and maybe even my whole stint as a teacher. Please keep going with your instincts and don't ever let convention change your choices. I know this might be too good to be true, especially in a society as uniform as Japan, but I can only hope you don't change too much as you grow up. A little message from the teacher you will soon have to forget...

Lion Sensei.

Things I really hate about myself

2007-12-02T02:04:00.000-08:00

As if I could forget...

1.) The way I behave when I'm drunk-I don't recognise myself at all, I fiercely maintain that I'm a totally different person altogether.

2.) I've always been just a little bit fat, but never do anything about it.

3.) I still don't have that perfect job, and have never done anything particularly noteworthy with myself. I don't like reading about child genius' and teenage millionaires because I'm JEALOUS!!!

Those things were more difficult than I thought to admit...but it feels good to get them out and see them on a screen. *Sigh* Feel better! Now, I'm off to do the Sunday big shop...

Small sentences

2007-12-01T02:14:00.000-08:00

I am always writing far too much for the leisurely reading style demanded to keep people interested in blogs. So, a few sentences from the last few days. Will. Suffice. Bite sized. Reading. Enjoy.

Cinnamon smells like Christmas.

People who avoid voicing their concerns directly to someone's face generate a lot of resentment and destroy trust and good feeling.

Especially if the problem is broadcast in an Email to several people rather than privately between two people.

It is unprofessional and lousy.

No matter how old you are, parents can still hit you where it hurts, even unintentionally. (Completely unrelated to last three sentences btw).

Successful people and big companies completely lose sight of what it means to survive. The "small" person means nothing to them.

Sometimes I worry so much about what I should be doing, I forget that I'm actually alive NOW.

On that note, have a great weekend! I'm actually quite cheerful this evening, now I've simplified the above things in my own head and moved them into a non-existent virtual world! I'm off for a beer! Nitey nite.

Global warming deniers...

2007-11-28T05:49:00.000-08:00

Take a hike! Yeah, I'm talking to YOU Mr. Bush. Should the sky look like like this in late November???

Autumn in Kokura

2007-11-27T05:27:00.000-08:00

Autumn has officially come to visit Kokura, and it is seriously about time, too. The leaves look brilliant. I felt it from the first few weeks I arrived here, and I stick by my initial impressions-the colous in Japan are noticably more vivid than in Britain. Same goes for sunsets, about 1000 times over.

I took these photos as a memory of a typical Tuesday for me so I can pine over them when I'm home and complaining about life being munadane and missing Japan. Note to self in 2009...It wasn't easy here, so don't forget that. Wherever you are, you'll always resent some part of your situation. You did your best with what you had and you always will....

(now shut it, you git).

Japan VS Australia baseball at the Yahoo Dome.

2007-11-24T02:10:00.000-08:00

My trip to the baseball yesterday was brilliant. The Yahoo Dome is really impressive from the outside but even moreso once you get yourself in there. We walked through one of the gates and the first thing that hits ouis the space-it's absolutely huge! There was a great atmosphere too, which I really enjoyed, especially as this was my first ever live sport event. I would like to try a football match back hom next, I think.

I glanced up at the roof, which is retractable, but in a dome shape, and thought how good it would have been to have seen it's movement as it opens-very futuristic! The Dome is also home to the WORLDS LONGEST BAR, which my other partner teacher, Michiyo, told me was CLOSED on that day! Boo hoo!! But that was OK, as it meant more baseball action.

The players were all announced (not all of them, funnily enough-just the good ones!) before trotting onto the pitch and standing for the anthems. then the game sarted, and after a bit of rule explantion from my partner teacher, Junko (cheers dear!) I kind of followed the game while getting progressively more drunk (thanks wandering guys with beer tanks on backs!) and everything was impressive-especially how well those guys can catch a ball.

Japan was losing at first, but then absolutely thrashed Australia by winning almost every round.

There were loads of kids making noise and bashing inflatable sticks together, and I somehow ended up with this photo of me and an unknown little boy who looks rather dubious about the whole situation (no wonder).

After the baseball, the folk who had to work today went back home and the rest of us went into Tenjin to Fubar, where Nat's fancy dress win as MC Hammer last Friday got most of us in for free,(thanks Nat!!).

After a quick dash over the road to the Craic and Porter for a cheeky pint of Guinness an a "hellooo" to Mike, the landlord, the rest of the evening went quite swimmingly (and drunkenly) in Fubar. I had a nice sleep in Double C's, we got up and about at one O'clock and then went to Doutour coffee shop for a hangover-happy coffee. Before I came ack to Kokura on the shinkansen, we went to Yodobashi and ogled at the toys for ages. I'm hoping to take my faulty camera back on Monday, lets see how that one pans out......exchanges in Japan??? EEEk!!

A precious day off spent rather well, I think.

CONJOINED JAPANESE SALARYMEN!!!

2007-11-22T06:02:00.000-08:00

It has to be seen to be believed...

Adam And Joe

2007-11-19T04:03:00.000-08:00

Adam and Joe podcasts have become the new friends I cannot live without. They are all on itunes and bcause they stopped making them about a year ago, I save them for the journeys to and from work. They also quell my yearning for good old English sarcasm and left-of-centre culture. I love people giving me that lightning flash disapproving 'It's a foreigner doing something outlandish!' look at 9am Monday morning on the train platform, giggling to myself with a song about kicking someone in the balls blasting through my headphones. Hehe. Adam and Joe, highly Recomended!

Shrines, squid, spuds and sunsets.

2007-11-18T04:16:00.000-08:00

Today I went to meet The Doc' (See my 'Old Japnese guys and young foreign girls' post for details). My mate, although she had been working the night before and we missed our morning meet up, made it to the hotel just as I approached the corner of the street, which I was AMAZINGLY relieved by, or I probably would'nt have met up with the doc at all.

I get the feeling that to him, even the thought of me worrying about his intentions being anything less than honorable would be really offensive and surprising. I'm sure he genuinely just wants to show people around his town and probably feel like he is relating some knowledge to some foreign 'tards.

But, from my point of view, and of people reading this back home, going into a hotel lobby to meet a gentleman, albeit, a very elderly one, alone, going to his "den"to read through a medical paper before driving into the countryside for an hour's journey seems more than a little bit weird, not to mention risky. But, in Japan, it seems to be a different story.

So, armed with the fine company of a savvy lass (cheers double C), today I sampled the delights of having an older and wiser acquaintance who has the local insight and language skills to show a foreign face around Kyushu. Afterall, I only have four months left, so, for once in my life, I abandoned my doubts and went for it.

And what a bizarre day it turned out to be. They guy's favourite catchphrases are "Ok, lets go", (said in a very abrupt manner as he has already turned to leave) and "I dont know that!"

I'll elaborate more another time, but for now, here are the big bits of the day while they're still fresh in my memory...

We went to the Doc's "den" in Tenjin, his second apartment, where he chills out every now and then. His lived-in apartment is close to his surgery in Hakata, I believe. He met us in the lobby of Hotel Nikko (swanky, and I don't know why there?!!?!) and led us to a big blue Mercedes Benz, which, he said he'd been drivng for 10 years. A very smooth ride, I have to say! Great springs for the bumpy road-but not when you are slightly desperate for the toilet, unfortunately.

Then, we went to his "den" where he gave us a massive dissertation each and explained his theories about the faults of medern medicine. He wants us to read it so he can ensure the lay person can follow it. Nice! As Double C said, bedtime reading...

After some coffee and chocs, we got back in the Merc' and drove for about an hour through some lovely countryside to Munakata Shrine, where there was a chrysanthenum festival and lots of people and families dressed in traditional costumes.

We fed some coy carp, saw lots and lots of trees and flowers, and bought a little slip of paper with a fortune on and a lucky charm attached. Then, walking through the little wooden buildings in the grounds (which were beautiful and really old) we saw someone selling fresh food from a stall, along with....BOXES OF DYSON VACCUM CLEANERS!!! What?!

After the shrine, the Doc took us to a squid restaurant on the roadside on the way back to the city. It was a humble place, with old, cracked, overflowing fish tanks balancing on one another, all perched on a damp, buckling wooden plank over a big concrete pool in the middle of the room. The tanks had big sea snails, lobstery-looking crustaceans and a fish swimming upside down in. The pool, below, was full of irridescent, carefree squid. We were shown to a low table, and settled down cross-legged in our socks on the tatami mat while the Doc did the "science bit" and set the ordering in motion.

First of all, the waitress delivered us each a small brown bowl of what looked like, as Double C said, porridge oats. Howeverrrr, it was, unfortunately "kneaded potato". "Aah, made from trusty potatoes!" I thought, "What can be bad about a spud?" and attempted to eat it, despite it's dubious, sloppy appearance.

However, after a few seconds in the mouth, I felt the urge to retch and sent it down swiftly with a mouthful of green tea. Then, watching Double C soldiering on with hers like a real trouper, despite having a rough night the previous evening, I went for another mouthful.

This time, I unfortunately did retch, which was, surely, bad form. To make things worse, the Doc then said "this dish is very good for the men, helps potency", which did my imagery no favours as I stared at the mulch. I discreetly pushed the bowl aside as another waitress approached.

We had two squid delivered to the table, still breathing and flexing their tentacles, their eyes moving around as they changed colour and flailed on the plate. Their recently dismembered lower body was lying around them, cut into small bite-sized chunks, and for the last ten minutes of their lives their miserable dying heads had to stare as we ate their bodies from the same plate. I felt a bit bad about that.

However, the urge to be polite and grateful was kind of more immediate at the time. We are in Japan, you know, Mr.Kelp..settle down and die honorably, wont you?

Every time I extended my chopsticks for neatly cut rectangle of raw squid, one of them moved it's tentacles into the air. In the end, I gave it a poke with my chopsticks and it seemed to settle down. The sashimi was nice, but very fibrous and difficult to chew, and I swear you can hear a certain sound in your mouth as you bite through the rubbery skin.

Though I really do appreciate the effort the Doc went to to pull off the whole day-the nice drive, the conversation about his job, the shrine and the flowers, feeding the carp, etc etc, the whole meal was quite hard work, and I think the raw squid platter is definetely more ceremonious and for spectacle rather than relaxing.

But then, just as we got back in the 'Merc and the sky darkened, we drove through the country and a vivid, brilliant sunset emerged from behind the mountains. The drive was so silent and peaceful, one of those moments where talking would have been completely useless.

The Doc pulled up at a little beach beside the road which still had a few surfers and people hanging around on it, despite the bitter wind. He waited in the car and me and C went to the beach to scrawl our undying love in the sand with her new Shakesperian quill (pigeon feather). I got caught by the splashy tide and got my boots covered in sand, not good for the Merc' carpet, so, a bit of leg-shaking later we set off again for the drive back to Fukuoka city.

The ride back reminded me of when I was little in my Dad's car, trying not to fall asleep on the way home because I didnt want the day to end. Except nowadays, I dont want the day to end because tomorrow is Monday and now I'm the adult ordering kids around, which is really sad in a way.

Hey,ho! A Starbucks choco mint Christmas coffee later and all was straightened out, back to Kokura on the shinkansen, a quick browse in a record shop and a cycle home. Sunday done. Happy happy joy joy. I can't believe I forgot my camera-what a day of wasted photo opportunities. Still, it lends the words more significance, I hope.

Beating the bike thieves.

2007-11-17T02:13:00.000-08:00

I got a new bike, I got a new bike, shiny shiny shiny shine...

Today I walked down to 'Trial' supermarket, which is kind of like an Asda, but bigger. Maybe it's on a par with 'Makro' back home, as it's pretty much a massive warehouse stacked with cheap stuff in bulk. It took a while to get there, as it's next to the urban expressway and the river, requiring a walk through a little dodgy underpass and constant stopping to wonder if you've gone the right way.

Bikes were cheap as hell, the most expensive being 19,000 Yen (about 100 quid, if that) but mine-the cheapest, as usual...only coast 6,700 Yen. Though it has a wheel ring lock, I got another, just to sock it to the bike robbing gits around here. Haha, you're not getting this one you scum, no way...Fort Knox style!

Sometimes I regret that I've decided to leave-especially when I (occasionally) buy new things for myself, like this. Still, it was a great buy though...

Flat-pack shrines.

2007-11-16T18:00:00.000-08:00

Participate in the new phonomena sweeping Japan-the invention of the flat-packed shrine. All you have to do is pop into your local retailer, make your purchase, whack your compacted religious base in the back of a van, find a nice spot which doesn't seem to be taken by anyone else and get out the phillips-head screwdrivers.

With full instructions and nuts and bolts included in an oversized plastic bag, this could be your gateway to good fortune. The DIY connosseur could have the shrine up within 24 hours! Most, honest humble people, however, find it takes around three days before their shrine is up and running. It has room above the doorway for a fun and exciting name, to be painted on with the free plastic pots of oil paint and brush included in the pack.

Only 1,000,000 Yen at all good crappy DIY stores, get your flatpack shrine now....(smallprint too small to read, but Flatpack shrines.inc accepts no responsibilty for government-based arguements arising from the procurement of land...)

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Japanese vans

2007-11-16T17:00:00.000-08:00

Walking from my apartment today to just about 50 metres down the road, I saw these vans parked outside a tall office building. Later on, when I was walking home, they were gone. It's got to be Batman parking up before a mission. Well, the homosexual version, anyway.

Ah, damn! KARAOKE AGAIN!!!

2007-11-11T18:17:00.000-08:00

After aforementioned slamming of Karaoke, here it goes again...why can't I ever stick to my guns?

A day in Fukuoka...

2007-11-10T17:05:00.000-08:00

Today I went to Fukuoka for a wander and to see if I could hunt down some Christmas presents for folks back home. I have to think of these things now, with the postage and pitiful amount of time I seem to have free nowadays, plus, I haven't explored Fukuoka enough for my liking yet. I don't know my way around well enough yet, so thanks to the little maps at the back of "Fukuoka Now" magazine, I didn't fare too badly. I got off the subway at Nakatsu Kawabata and walked through (what I thought) was going to be a really busy shopping arcade in Nakatsu.

However, it was a long, stony cracked floored arcade with a load of traditional shops and a few nice cafe's in, but it was EMPTY! On a Saturday afternoon, which I thought was crazy. I later spoke to my partner teacher who told me that it's because Tenjin, (trendy, massive shopping complex central...) has managed to syphon off all the interest in the older arcades.

I saw a lot of really provoking things today, most of them were unphotographable (is that a word?) as they went by with the blink of an eye-as all the best experiences probably are. A little girl about three years old was walking through the grey, dingy arcade with her parents. She was dressed in full kimono and obi and was holding a little Japanese flag. All of the shopkeepers came from inside and were waving at her and grinning like proud grandparents. Her kimono was yellow, patterend with gold and pink and was a far cry from the grey, stained concrete. I think she may have been dressed like this because the Japanese celebrate girls aged 3, 5 and 7 this year I think.

Then, walking from Nakatsu to Tenjin, I saw a BIG bunch of suited and booted men in their Fifties at least, being shown into a karaoke booth with big grins on their faces, all giggling like schoolgirls. I checked my watch and it was only Four in the afternoon.

I didn't know where I was, so I just followed the line of the street and ended up in a shopping complex called "Tenjin Mina" and found a brilliant guitar shop and a second hand retro shop (the first I've seen in Japan). It was original vintage stuff too, as the clothes were in really great taste, those dresses you see back home, all flimsy nylon, fluffy mohair jumpers with sequins and flowers, not to mention an amazing tie rack. It also had that second hand shop smell of dust and old leather. Mmmmm.

I also found shop which sells all kinds of parephenalia of Japanese celebs (mainly ageing men in suits) which was full of Japanese schoolgirls. They had keyrings of Smap, boyband stickers, walls of postcards of celebrities in different poses, all kinds of things which you would never see back home, because of the lack of a market, probably. Can you imagine a full wall of Ant and Dec postcards, each one in a different outfit and pose? Maybe it's because Japanese schoolgirls love to collect things, and the whole "KAWAIII!" business.

My new (2,ooo Yen Aeon supermarket) boots were starting to irritate me, so I walked to the riverside and went to Canal City. It was starting to get dark, so the food stalls were just coming out to play. That walk was a highlight of the day-I walked past people sitting slurping noodles under paper lanterns, friends raising drinks together, people giggling and picking at fresh food all around them, oysters bubbling away on embers and men arranging fish in their little cooking areas. Watching good friends relaxed, deep in converstaion in a great atmosphere can make you feel incredibly lonely here, sometimes.

Canal City was still busy, though it was getting on for around half seven, and the Christmas lights were amazing. I love the design of Canal City, it's so fluid (like a lot of Japanese architecture) and always looks great with the seasonal features. Summer looked brilliant with it's blue columns of light scattered around the pools, and they've really got the Chrismassy feeling pinned with the plastic dangling snowflakes, orchestras and christmas trees set up around the corridors.

Putting a lid on the day, I walked back to Hakata station, nabbed a cheeky set of gyoza and a can of chu-hi for the shinkansen, and in twenty minutes I was back in Kokura again. It was an interesting day, and I have to make a point of spending a lot more time in Fukuoka before I leave Japan.

Two weeks time, BASEBALL!!! Woohoo!!!

Bliss

2007-11-07T06:20:00.001-08:00

After a month of writing class reports, contract deadline decision, seika, observation days and mothers observations, there is only one thing for it.......

Ahhhh.

Dinner Day Five

2007-11-06T18:34:00.000-08:00

Ah, something a little more normal. English veggies, some lovely homely spuds and a bit of fish. All I have in my kitchen by way of cooking devices is one medium sized hob and a microwave. For someone who is used to cooking at home for two with a big, hot old oven and four hob rings at her disposal, this was, at first, really annoying. One of the easiest things to cook is a stir fry, throwing in some chicken or prawns with some beansprouts and veg-an easy option after a day at work. BUT then, how the hell do you cook the noodles or rice? Swap the pan on the hob every ten seconds, haha-it has been done, believe me.

Dinner Day Five

2007-11-05T23:50:00.000-08:00

Hakata night out with the Double C! We rekindled our relationship with a restaurant by the station with a remote control ordering device (nice!). Massive beers, followed by Takoyaki (Octopus dough balls) Salmon sashimi, some green fish stuff, another massive beer, gyoza, then ice cream with maple syrup. THEN (shame on me) a beer on the hour long train ride home with the knackered salary dudes, and two giant cans when I got home. No photo, thank god, It's starting to dawn on me why I have three arses. I'll bag some off the net again...

Dinner Day Four

2007-11-04T06:24:00.000-08:00

A bag of soy sauce flavoured crackers and the cheapest beer available in the 7-11. Man, this really isn't giving me a good press. Tasty good, though.

Dinner Day Three

2007-11-03T23:00:00.000-07:00

Post Othello, not much will to cook after four hours and a half ten finish. A rare pizza (hardly ever buy them) and a.........blimey!......can of lager! Not again, surely?

Haiku medley for the buddhist idea that "This Is It"

2007-11-03T19:18:00.000-07:00

This is it lying
in bed Saturday morn
nothing is finer.

No work I dont have
to go to work you cant
make me I wont go.

kindergartens suck
sesses are down to me
turning up on time.

Tetleys teabags are
running low wont someone
send me some more please.

There's not many things
you cant find in daiso
just forty four pence.

My bike it got nicked
I should not have bought a
forty four pence lock.

Waiting at cash points
she has been ages just
what is she doing?

Please stop staring as
I peruse the shelves of
your small corner shop.

Grumpy conductors
It's not my fault that
I'm not Japanese.

Yodobashi I
have never been any
where better than you.

stop writing crap hai
ku and get dressed and go
out somewhere quickly.

The hills are alive, with the sound of lousy bicycles...

2007-11-03T17:09:00.000-07:00

I got up at seven fifteen this morning, pulled a 10 minute clothes and make up job (kept the buring haystack post-bed hairdo) got on my friend`s ridiculous circus-like bicycle and peddled like the wind up to Kokura Station. I parked up the trike, and went around the back to the coach bay and waved off a bunch of schoolchildren on their way to a weekend camp trip. I'm not sure why. Not one of them were my students, so when I turned up, waving at them frantically with my "Big Issue vendor" look, I saw some defated expressions behind the windows.

Then, kids off safely, I payed 100 yen for the 10 minute park-up (BAH!) got back on the old miniature penny farthing and went to the supermarket for milk, but ended up buying flowers and bread with raisins in. I dont even like raisins, either. Then, I came home and sat in my bed with my laptop and a TEAPOT full of tea, where I join you now...I think my self-imposed booze cutdown is adding years on me...teapots? Flowers? Waving children off to camp at ungodly hours? (and taking up crocheting again-true story)...Julie Andrews better watch her back.

What shall I do for the rest of the day? Well, maybe go and buy a new bike after the stealing incident last week. It's sad that I'm discussing this with a non-existent world. I'm going to see Othello tonight, though, which should be good. In Japanese, hehehe. I wonder if they will have a black actor for the part or some Japanese guy with a bit of a mature demeanour...hmmmm. I'll relate all later. Shall I wear my hair up, dress in black and superglue a wine glass to my hand? Yeah! Why else am I going?

Welcome to Japan.

2007-11-02T23:08:00.000-07:00

Oh dear! Maybe I shouldn`t post this for fear of backlash from the people who never read this. But I have to share this link-whoever made this video was surely having a bad day, (or a bad year if they are a teacher). I just have to say, I dont necessarily agree with this video, but, sometimes, I relate to it. Besides, it's bloody funny...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4312325486942096307&q=do+it+like+you+like&total=107300&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0

Japanese dinner Day Two

2007-11-02T05:56:00.000-07:00

I ate out tonight, in the bowels of Kokura`s Riverwalk shopping mall. Raamen, gyoza and beer in a sweaty kitchenette! All for exactly 1,000 Yen (about 4.50 GBP), A warm treat after a good, hardworking Friday at kindergarten, with around 45 mothers observing me throughout the course of the day. Not as bad as it sounds...I deserved the raamen though! Kampai! No photo, so I'll nick one off the net-I will ensure it has exactly the same proportions, texture, hue and taste as the bowl I had...har har...

Japanese Dinner Day One

2007-11-01T05:50:00.000-07:00

In a rather compelling and interesting move, I decided to document my dinner for a full week. This is the kind of stuff which should get me into the Tate Modern/London C list/Playboy Mansion...Or just for me in 10 years when I wonder why I'm 15 stone and I have just thrown up my liver.

Day one (Thursday night) Lawson's salad, sweet egg and some hard, strong STOUT. I usually cook, but, could not be arsed.

Blurry pre-drinking photos of Hakata

2007-10-27T17:57:00.000-07:00

Big cities at night make me feel awlraaaight! I'm not doing this because I think I can take photos (BECAUSE I CANNOT!) It just reminds me of a certain time and a place and the onset of winter in a glittery city. Hmm, luurvely! It's about time we had some cold over here.

HAIKU!!!

I went-a drinking,

Because I was thinking

I should get legless.

The tricky subject of Karaoke

2007-10-27T06:28:00.000-07:00

Karaoke! It is a big hand which divides the population exactly in half. Some people get drunk and will never, ever do it, the second half get drunk and have to have the mic prized from their cold, dead hands.

Unfortunately, I am embarrased to even hum a tune in the sober daytime air, but, after 10 beers and rounding a few people up, I always seem to be the karaoke ringleader. Once I'm in the room, I grab a catalogue, throw the remote control away and kneel down by the video box. This is to usurp the remote control users-if a song comes on which I dont know, I'm king of the CANCEL button.

The favourites all emerge right away- "I Touch Myself", "Debaser", anything by Guns N` Roses or Queen and (how this began I dont know) "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues". But, everyone knows that the worst songs are the best in karaoke, and otherwise, there is no point in going.

However, I will not do it anymore!!! It's the point where the night just goes too far. Karaoke is what happens when everyone has had more than too much and should definetley go home. But, instead, they put themselves in a private, comfy room with a big wall-length couch, several microphones, loads of music, friends and can order food, beer and anything they fancy at the push of a button. It is just basically evil. No more karaoke- It's bed for me!

Sunderland Boys and karokebox

2007-10-20T18:37:00.000-07:00

I just got these photos developed from a disposable camera I bought in August. Dont you just love it when you find an old camera and the photos really surprise you? These are gold! I met some blokes from Sunderland in a little hip hop club in Kokura one Saturday night. They were there the next week, and a few weeks later, then we arranged to meet up one Saturday during a festival so we could scout around and see the sights. They worked for Nissan and were here to fix some cars which had been sent to Japan.

Only, there was nothing much wrong with the cars anyway, so they spent a lot of their time here getting completely legless and staying out until at least 5am, even on worknights. The Saturday of the festival turned out to be one of the funniest nights here, the blokes had loads of banter and stories to tell, were really game for anything and generally, great company. We sat in Kokura castle garden with bottles of ASTI from the supermarket, ended up getting locked in and having to climb over the gate to get out. THEN....KARAOKE!!! Damn! Not again. Good night, though!

They went home the following Tuesday, and me and my mate Guy met them for a farewell drink. They were dressed in pimp outfits, cowboy hats, diamante glasses and big plastic rings, etc.. and because it was the peak of the humidity here, they were sweating like...well, stocky, balding lobster-coloured men in their forties, really. Dipping the little Japanese flannels in champagne buckets, ringing them out and resting them on their sweaty fods. One of the best weekends I've had, without a doubt.

"Cultural Event" at a countryside Kindergarten.

2007-10-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

Hahaha! Culture! Not to be too cynical, but an event which involves tiny girls in far too short dresses all doing the same dance in different national costumes and boys either prancing about in tribal dress banging hollow drums or jumping over impressive sized sports horses is not as varied as the title suggests.

I do admit that it was a nice show for parents, though, due to it being much more anally organised and coordinated than anything I was ever in as a kid.

Encho sensei does an annual magic show...the dance he came exploding onstage to is apparently called "The moustache dance" and was popular about 15 years ago. So, a typical old dude then, really, sticking firmly to his memories. I do admire his ability to make fun of himself, though (see video below) and think he's not such a bad sort. It was pretty funny halfway through his piece de resistance of making a handkerchief float, when a little kid shouted out "I can see strings!" See the vid.

They really could have offered us a seat, after going to the trouble of inviting us on a Saturday bloody morning. I may not have been so cynical if I was sitting down for the 2 and a half hours we stayed for. Lower back pain is not the phrase!

Kindergarten Cultural Event

2007-10-13T07:36:00.000-07:00

Koujyaku "Cultural event".
After being dragged unwillingly by aforementioned invisible "duty" from my lovely Saturday morning bed to attend a kindergarten "Cultural event", I took this brilliant video, which wont upload right now, so I've posted a picture. The little boy (in the middle) made my day...have you ever seen that bit in "Wayne's World" where the show goes live but Wayne resigns halfway through and Garth has to do it alone and just stares at the camera for ages? This boy carried out his own revolution against the stringent order of the perfectly coordinated dance...or maybe just a touch of stage fright, ne?

A Post For Nothing...

2007-10-13T03:56:00.001-07:00

Just to get that horrible picture of my less than appetising leg off the top spot.

Mosquitoes launch a final attack...

2007-10-12T06:20:00.000-07:00

Before going to "live underground" for the winter, as one of my partner teachers told me (is this true? I thought they just died, like cicadas or spiders...) it seems the Kitakyushu mozzers are launching a last attack on my ravaged ankles and calves. A war on two fronts, just like 1914...

Do mozzers sit underground sleeping like cute, tree-bound furry squirrels and lovely hibernate-y creatures in general, or do they actually just pop it mid-air one day, like the suspicious, creepy articles that are spiders and cicadas?

I would have placed them in the latter camp myself. They are the LAST things I would put underground for protection. Surely there are more deserving beings than mosquitoes to be hibernated for fear of their lives.

The same, obviously, goes for Hitler. Why dont witness protection programmes evict the mozzers and hide folk there? I'm sure people like Trotsky and Catholic Priests during the reformation would have appreciated that insight. And vampires.

The little buggers! I just cannot think of an upside to them (mozzers, not Vampires, chill out Ms.Rice...), there is no silver lining to that ugly, tiny, viscious cloud-see illustration for details...

PS) Those legs are from the UK, make no mistake.

It all begins in the middle...

2007-10-12T05:23:00.000-07:00

So, here I am, a blogger. I hate blogging and I pity peple who spend hours at computers- or at least, I did when I last checked.

But that`s the point. I can`t remember what I think sometimes, my opinions, once unflinchingly defined, have blurred far too much for my liking with the niceties and routines of the country I've been living in for the last six months.

Good old Japan, the place where everything asserts itself with a determined, masculine presence, only to be completely contradicted a few moments later. Everything sits, literally, on shifting ground here. Except for tradition and a not-always-logical sense of what is right and wrong, which is, frustratingly, invisible to the 'outsider'.

I am starting this blog firm in the belief that as well as having amazing, life-changing experiences here that tempt me into wanting to stay forever, Japan can be unflinchingly cold to people who don't 'belong' here.

This is not directly the fault of Japanese people, but rather an instinctive reaction to something novel in a place which was closed to the outside world for the best part of two hundred years.

Buuuut...theoretically, at least, things should have changed here by now. I just want to make it very clear that I've come across some amazing politeness and kindness here, so I'm not damning a whole country full of people, but simply, reflecting on what I see on a daily basis.

This is also, please bear in mind, the perspective of a person living and working here for an extended amount of time. Tourists, holidaymakers and brief visitors won't experience, or have to think much about, the barriers foreigners may face when trying to seriously think through the viability of making Japan their new home.

How can it still be acceptable for people of a country with an oft-celebrated reputation as the hub of technology, innovation and development to commonly and without controversy band around the word "foreginer" (gaijin - a word I am a little over-sensitive about, I admit) on the street in the faces of people who are not the same race as them? Can you imagine the same thing on the streets of London, New York or Paris? Would it be OK for me to go up to a Chinese man in Manchester and say 'foreigner'? Japan, as part of the developing world, should adopt higher standards and considering that this kind of treatment can very easily be helped, so it should be.

Japan, after my six-month stint here, is to me a constantly surprising place with vast possibilities and sights which would be impossible to appreciate fully in one lifetime. But, traditions and values can still be upheld without so stringently shunning those deemed not to "fit in" by decades of barely-considered norms.

Greater open-mindedness and willingness to help people up out of the gutter and find their feet in a very insular country would, in my opinion, do no small amount favours for Japan. It would lead to greater understanding and experience of more cultures, (rather than an unhealthy obsession with mimicking America), and would perhaps, bring about some more consideration for those who just dont 'fit in' in society.

These people include, among others, the homeless, the tattooed, children who dont want to be like their parents, anyone with a waist measurement over 29 inches and of course, the "FORGEIGNER!" As Shoko Tendo recently said when discussing her recently translated book about the Yakuza,

"Japanese society looks very calm on the surface, but underneath it is in turmoil...discrimination is rife."

After six months here, I have decided, primarily for personal reasons, (but partially because I miss sausages, roast dinners and good old English rudeness), not to renew my work contract for another year.

So, now I know now I am leaving Japan, I have frequent pangs of regret. Like when you dump someone and see them a week later with another girl.

My biggest worries are that I haven't documented my stay here well enough and my terrible memory will mean that once the plane wheels hit the Heathrow tarmac, all of this will feel like a year-long day dream. So, here goes my attempt to save some of my experiences here from the quagmire of things I have forgotten in my life as I count down my last six months in Japan.

Big deal-I'm already halfway through. I've lost all of the fresh-faced wonder of a newcomer. What insight can I possibly have to offer? Will I learn anything new?

If not, this Blog will be pretty pointless, not to mention completely self-obsessed and boring... but, would I do that to you? Do the Japanese eat sushi all day and go home to pet robots? Welcome.

Japanese Kindergarten sports day.

2007-10-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

This event was fairly funny (as they all are to someone whose sports days at primary school, never mind NURSERY, constitued a quick dash around the playground for an hour and a half max, involving a few bean bags balanced on heads and rubbery hoops being hurled around towards bored looking parents hovering around the tarmac,) but would have been even funnier had I not got up too late for my usual coffee breakfast.

However, Michiyo, my partner teacher, and I were ushered into a small marquee, which had undoubtedly passed it's finest years, and were given some iced oolong tea in little paper cups. This seemed to keep me awake for the stretch, so, every cloud...

Halfway through the sports events, this woman, who always seems to be EVERYWHERE in the kindergarten grounds at any given time, did that fussy, urgently feigned half-run that people have and sprayed the dusty playground with water from a hose. Why??? Actually, it was to stop the dust blowing into the picnicing parents eyes. Obviously, it dried a few minutes later and the aforementioned people were restored to full gritty-eyed conditions with every fresh sheet of wind. I was expecting the forecast typhoon to merrily open it's powers on the whole thing, but, typical to weather forecast-istry, it never actually arrived in Kokura.

Ah, well. It wasnt such a bad morning. I do have to wonder, though, would "YMCA", which they used during the military-like, but impressive formations have survived the red tape if the Japanese kindergarten teachers knew what the song celebrated? Watch the video, if you're intrigued.